A Better Way to Choose a Vegas Strip Club

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If you're looking for information on the best strip clubs in Las Vegas, you just hit the jackpot, Jack. You've found the ultimate Las Vegas guide to girls peeling off their underthings in public.

Las Vegas Topless Clubs, Nude Clubs and More

There are 16 topless gentlemen's clubs in Las Vegas, seven clubs where the girls are on stage fully nude, ten casino shows that feature topless showgirls, bars and nightclubs that feature erotic entertainment, peep shows, swingers' clubs, 10 adults-only topless party pools, and a dozen male revues, including one where the guys dance nude.

We've got strip clubs with such an awesome number of drop-dead gorgeous dancers that the scene rivals the harem of the Sultan of Brunei. We've got strip clubs that offer private VIP rooms where you can close the door and get creative with the dancer of your choice.

We've got high-mileage lap dances, nude bed dances, shower shows, mud and oil wrestling, bikini bull-riding, pretty beaver contests, and Monday night football titty blizzards. We’ve got strip clubs that feature stacked dancers, others that feature big booty, and still others that feature 18-year-olds who can fly around the stripper poles.

We’ve even got high-end legal brothels an hour's drive from Vegas.

As a traveling man, I've been to strip clubs in just about every state in the U.S.—including Alaska and Hawaii—and a lot of other countries as well, and I've never seen another town like this one for strip clubs. The best strip clubs in Las Vegas are some of the best strip clubs in the world.

100% Honest Vegas Strip Club Reviews

At Topless Vegas Online, I cover it all. I give it to you straight and tell you exactly what you can expect. If I like a place, I tell you why. If I don't like a place, I tell you the problem. I list the prices for everything, and whether or not I think they're worth it.

Las Vegas Strip Club Costs, Etiquette, Slang and Local Laws

I also fill you in on how to avoid getting ripped off by the tourist traps, and provide tricks the locals use to have maximum fun at minimum cost. And if you're new to the Vegas strip club scene, you'll find guides to Las Vegas strip club etiquette, tipping advice, slang, and local laws.

How to Get the Most from Topless Vegas Online

If you're not familiar with Vegas strip clubs, start with the articles under "Strip Club Survival Guide" at the left. Once you know whether you're looking for a topless or nude club, or some other adult entertainment, check out the "Best Of's" at the top left.

Once you've narrowed down the clubs or shows that you're most interested in, check out their individual reviews for detailed information, hours, prices, and location. And don't forget to check out the free round-trip limo transport offered by many of the clubs. The clubs give free admission when you arrive at their club by their limo, no strings attached. That can save you $70+ to enjoy the pleasures of the establishment.

Two Dollar Tuesday at Deja Vu Showgirls

Deja Vu Showgirls Dancer Shelby Sparks

Shelby Sparks
Photo by Hew Burney

The only place to go drinking tonight is Deja Vu Showgirls (club review / club website), because it’s “You-Call-It Tuesday” at Deja Vu, and that means  all drinks are two bucks each all night long.

This two-buck deal includes all domestic and imported beers, all well drinks, and all call drinks. (Champagnes, wines, and super premium liquors are excluded.)

Deja Vu’s Tuesday night deal is for all customers (not just locals). If you’re visiting Vegas from out of state, this is the best drink value you’ll find in any major Vegas strip club.

Plus Shelby Sparks in “Naked in Neon”

Deja Vu Showgirls Vegas Naked in Neon

Naked in Neon

Most Tuesday nights (at around 1 am), Deja Vu presents a sexy black-light show, Naked in Neon, where you can watch Shelby Sparks, TVO’s Dancer of the Month for August, get messy on stage.

The best thing about drinking good booze cheaper than you can drink at home, is that you’ll have a lot more money to spend letting Deja Vu’s sexy dancers have their way with you in the club’s Private Rooms.

Private-room dances take place in large comfortable rooms with your choice of couch or bed and a door you can close. Prices start at 15 minutes for $150 (with no extra bar tab), or about the same price as a 10-minute lap dance in the group VIP at the other major Vegas topless clubs.

Deja Vu Showgirls is couples- and female-friendly.  The cover charge is $35 for customers from out of state, but you can get free admission, plus a free drink, if you show the coupon in the right sidebar of our home page and you arrive at the club by the club’s free limo. (Don’t take a cab or you’ll pay full price!)

Call 1.702.366.1633 to reserve your free ride.
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Las Vegas Strip Club Coupon

Porn Newcomer Dylan Phoenix Dancing Nightly at Palomino Club

palomino-club-vegas-dancer-dylan-phoenix-2Fans of adult film newcomer Dylan Phoenix can now find her dancing at Palomino Club (club review / club website)

If you’re not yet familiar with Dylan Phoenix, she’s a 19-year-old with a drop-dead gorgeous body who has already been chosen by James Deen to appear with him on his adult site.

In her four months in the biz, she’s also appeared in such films as Big Tits on the Bottom Bunk, One Sneaky Pair of Tits, and Bachelor Party Orgy.

She also happens to be the daughter of adult actress Ryan Conner, currently best known for MILF roles.

Dylan says she’s a nymphomaniac who gets turned on performing.  She definitely has an uninhibited style in her stage performance and she says she really likes to get naughty in the private rooms.

Dylan dances at Palomino a lot, so you’re liable to catch her there most nights.

Palomino is the only fully-nude strip club in Las Vegas that serves alcohol. You must be 21+ to enter, but the dancers only have to be 18. Call 1.702.327.7258 for the free club limo.

palomino-club-vegas-dancer-dylan-phoenix-3

All pics are by Hew Burney.  You can follow Dylan on twitter at @DylanPhoenix69.

For my favorite adults-only pic of Dylan, see below. Read more…

TVO’s Dancer of the Month: Meet Shelby Sparks from Deja Vu Showgirls

deja-vu-las-vegas-dancer-shelby-sparks-34-smFor the past couple of months, Shelby Sparks has been burning up the stage at Deja Vu Showgirls (club review / club website). She’s a natural beauty with a fresh-scrubbed all-American girl look–the kind of wholesome, voluptuous sex goddess you used to find in 1950s pin-ups.

When Shelby hits the pole you discover she’s also an athlete with moves like a wet dream come to life. Then she comes to your table and you find out she’s a real sweetheart.

You can see Shelby perform most nights at Deja Vu, and almost always on Tuesdays and Fridays when she does the Naked in Neon show at 1 am.

Shelby hails from Houston and she’s been dancing professionally for four years. I interviewed her at Deja Vu the night of the photo shoot.

Q:  How did you happen to get into dancing in strip clubs?

I was going to Penn State. It’s expensive. I had to pay for it.

Q:  What were you studying?

I earned degrees in Journalism and Creative Writing.

Q:  So you finished college and you’re still dancing?

I couldn’t find a job as a journalist.

Q:  What other kinds of jobs have you done?

I was an assistant preschool teacher for a while.

Q:  I suspect that pays quite a bit less than dancing. What was it like the first time you danced on stage at a strip club?

It was terrifying but fun–like being on a roller coaster.

Q:  What’s your favorite music for dancing?

I like bubblegum pop. Britney Spears.

Q:  What do you like most about dancing as a profession?

I like making the men and couples who come in here happy. I like talking to people, hearing their stories.

Q:  What do you like least about it?

Dealing with drunken idiots.

Q:  What do you do on your time off?

I practice pole tricks a lot. I do yoga and I like rock-climbing.

Q:  What would you most like your audience to know about you?

I’m a real person with real thoughts–not what most people think a stripper is.

You can connect with Shelby on Facebook and Instagram.

Hew Burney’s photos of Shelby are below.

Read more…

Austin Strip Club’s Nominee for Bad Customer Award

How Not to Promote Your Plumbing Business

silva-lino

Lino Silva

Okay, so this guy, Lino Silva, is a plumber in Austin, Texas, and he’s trying to drum up some business. He stops into this gentlemen’s club, The Yellow Rose, and starts passing out his business cards. Not a bad plan. Strip clubs often have plumbing issues. They’ve got public restrooms, a full bar, a full-service kitchen—lots of potential plumbing problems.

But, apparently Mr. Silva started drinking and according to the report at KXAN.com, by the time he was ejected from the premises, he was “very intoxicated.” He wasn’t ejected because he was drunk, however—I mean, this is a strip club after all and drunk customers are often the biggest spenders.

Silva was 86d because he’d started buying table dances and then refusing to pay the dancers. He apparently thought the dancers were attracted to him because of his wit, charm, and hunky good looks (see photo—which I believe is the Austin PD mugshot). Note the striking resemblance to George Clooney.

That mug shot, however, did not result from the club calling the cops on Silva because he refused to pay his bill. No, the club management felt that they’d taken care of the problem when they booted him out the door. They weren’t trying to make more problems for him.

But, Lino Silva apparently figured out a way to accomplish what he’d set out to do in the first place–drum up some business for his plumbing company. Unbeknownst to the Yellow Rose (but later discovered when they saw their parking lot surveillance video), instead of leaving the premises immediately after he was kicked out of the club, Silva went to a truck where he retrieved something, then went into the alcove where the club’s gas service was connected.

A little later that night, the club called the fire department to investigate a possible gas leak. It was discovered that the gas had been turned off and the pipe from the shutoff valve to the meter had been removed. A licensed plumber would have to be called to fix the service.

Conveniently, the club had the business card of a local plumber, Lino Silva. Before calling Silva, however, they decided to take a look at the surveillance video to see who had tampered with their outdoor plumbing.

Needless to say, the police didn’t have a lot of trouble locating Silva to arrest him for malicious mischief. Most vandals don’t leave their calling card.
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Amnesty International Comes Out for Prostitutes’ Rights

Amnesty International, the most respected protector of human rights in the world, has (finally!) said that prostitution should be decriminalized worldwide, because the criminalization of prostitution is itself a violation of human rights.

The group published its Proposed Policy on Sex Work on its website. You can read the full proposal here.

Amnesty International was careful to specify that it was proposing the decriminalization of sex work that was both consensual and between adults. To quote from the proposal:

Amnesty International opposes the criminalisation or punishment of activities relating to the buying or selling of consensual sex between adults. This policy is based on the human rights principle that consensual sexual conduct between adults—which excludes acts that involve coercion, deception, threats, or violence—is entitled to protection from state interference …

This policy does not change Amnesty International’s longstanding position that trafficking into forced prostitution should be criminalised as a matter of international law. Amnesty International considers children involved in commercial sex acts to be victims of sexual exploitation, entitled to support, reparations, and remedies, in line with international human rights law. States must take all appropriate measures to prevent violence and exploitation of children …

The proposal goes on to explain that treating prostitution as a crime is responsible for much of the harassment (often at the hands of police) and violence that women (and men) who engage in sex work suffer. Amnesty International rejects the argument that by keeping prostitution a crime, women are being “protected.”

… the criminalisation of sex work is sometimes justified as a means of protecting sex workers themselves. One argument is that sex work, or prostitution, is inherently a form of violence against women that must be eradicated. The rationale for this argument is that those who claim to sell sex voluntarily are coerced to do so by circumstances or by structural disadvantages such as poverty or gender inequality. Consequently, the men and women who buy sex are seen as perpetrating abuse through maintaining unequal power-structures that keep sex workers disadvantaged, whether or not they are aware of it or believe themselves to be doing so.

But it is the criminalization of prostitution that leads to much of the violence against and exploitation of women.

Clients may threaten sex workers with criminal sanctions to control and exploit them …  Criminalisation leads to restrictions on travel, employment, and housing, increasing sex workers’ dependence on others …

Amnesty International also points out that it is not the only human rights organization recommending that prostitution be decriminalized.

The UNAIDS Advisory Group on HIV and Sex Work is quoted:

States should move away from criminalising sex work or activities associated with it. Decriminalisation of sex work should include removing criminal penalties for purchase and sale of sex, management of sex workers and brothels, and other activities related to sex work.

The UN special rapporteur on the right to health, concluded in his 2010 report to the Human Rights Council, “The decriminalization or legalization of sex work with appropriate regulation forms a necessary part of a right-to-health approach to sex work …”

The World Health Organization also calls for all countries to “work toward decriminalization of sex work and elimination of the unjust application of non-criminal laws and regulations against sex workers …”

According to Amnesty International, the Canadian HIV/AIDS Legal Network, Human Rights Watch, the Kenya National Human Rights Commission, the Open Society Foundations, and the South African Commission on Gender Equality have all called for the decriminalisation of sex work.

As Nevada is the only state in the U.S. where prostitution is legal, it would be nice to see this state take the lead and simply decriminalize prostitution. I realize this may put many of the state’s current brothels out of business. Who would drive to Pahrump if there were a legal red light district in Vegas? But it’s about time there was a red light district in Vegas, as exist in many European cities.

It will be a leap for women’s equality when sex work is decriminalized, as it is women who primarily suffer from our cruel and immoral laws, and women who are stigmatized as a blight on society, when they are performing a valuable social service.
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