I started this website after a conversation with a Vegas strip club host who was complaining about the average customer at his (now defunct) club, and after reading bad reviews on sites like Yelp of some of the best strip clubs in Vegas.
It struck me that too many Vegas strip club customers weren’t getting the most out of their experience and too many Vegas strip clubs weren’t happy with a lot of their customers.
It was clear to me that somebody needed to talk to both sides about what was going wrong. That’s how toplessvegasonline.com was born.
How to Have a Terrible Time in a Vegas Strip Club
When people have a bad time at a Vegas strip club, it tends to be because they hopped in a cab and asked the cabby to recommend a club. Most major Vegas strip clubs pay a tip (called a “spiff”) to cabbies (or Uber, Lyft and limo drivers) for every customer they bring, and some of the worst clubs pay the highest spiffs.
Many casino hosts and valets have similar tip deals with the clubs. The standard spiff in Vegas strip clubs runs from $30 to $125 per head, so the person collecting the spiff has a very strong incentive to steer customers to the highest payer that night, even if it’s a crappy club. (For more on this see: The Vegas Taxi Wars).
To partly cover the cost of the spiff, the strip club must charge an exorbitant admission fee to customers who arrive by cab. So the customer gets to the club, pays his cab fare, and is now hit with a $45-$55 entry fee for a club that may not be worth going to in the first place.
Once inside the club, there’s either no place to sit down, or there are plenty of places to sit down but very few dancers, or dancers that are not very attractive. The customer goes to the bar for a drink that turns out to be $28 when he expected to pay $10 or $12 at the most. The first dancer that approaches is aggressive and not very attractive, and he can’t seem to get rid of her to talk to the cute girl across the room. Eventually, the customer leaves in outrage, $75-$100 out of pocket for one drink and a lot of frustration.
And with enough customers like this, the club goes bankrupt too. Off the top of my head, I can think of a dozen Vegas strip clubs that have gone under for precisely this reason since I started work on this website.
How to Have the Strip Club Experience of a Lifetime in Vegas
Pick the Right Club for Your Taste
The best Vegas strip clubs are the best in the country. I feel entitled to say this because I’ve been going to strip clubs for 50 years and I once spent a couple years visiting every strip club in the United States and Canada. The Vegas strip clubs get the best dancers from all around the country. They’re the most luxurious strip clubs in the country. They offer the best customer service in the country. And they are the loosest strip clubs in the country, with the right to high-mileage lap dances and private shows guaranteed by the Nevada Supreme Court.
But the best Vegas strip clubs are also very different from each other. A club that might be the turn-on experience of a lifetime for one guy might leave another guy cold.
All Vegas strip clubs have a stage show, VIP rooms, lap dancers, and girls of various races, nationalities and body types. But if you’re specifically looking for a great stage show, then I’d advise you to go to Palomino Club or Little Darlings, both nude clubs, where the stage shows are always better than what you’ll find in the topless clubs.
If you have a preference for Latina girls, then go to Chicas Bonitas. Black girls? Go to Club Lacy’s, the Library, or Girl Collection, depending on your budget and tastes.
You want maximum privacy for the highest mileage private bedroom dance? Deja Vu and Sapphire have one-on-one private rooms with a real door you can close behind you. Sapphire’s private rooms are the most luxurious in town while at Deja Vu, private bedroom dances start at $150 for 15 minutes. That’s what many topless clubs in Vegas charge for the group VIP.
You like slender girls with big tits? Sapphire would be your best bet. You prefer younger girls? Dancers at Little Darlings, Palomino Club and Talk of the Town only have to be 18+. How about big booty clubs? Check out our post on the best Vegas strip clubs by body type.
Take the Club Up on its Package Deals and/or Free Club Limo
I get a lot of questions from guys who think the free limo transport that many Vegas strip clubs advertise is some kind of gimmick the clubs use to trap you in their establishment. But it’s not a gimmick. Taking the free club limo will get you free or reduced admission and requires no obligation from you. If you walk in and don’t like the club, you can call another club and have them send their free club limo to pick you up right there.
For specific limo deals and phone numbers, see our post on Vegas strip club free limo transport.
At some clubs a package deal can make the difference between a great night out and an overpriced, frustrating experience, while at other clubs the packages are a waste of money. We’ve sorted it out for you in our club reviews and our recommended Vegas strip club packages post.
Choose the Right Club for Your Budget
Vegas strip clubs vary widely in how much they cost. Cover charges range from $0 to $55. The price of a domestic beer or well drink runs from $5 to $18. Ten minutes in a VIP room will run from $90 to $150, while an hour in a private room will run from $400 to $1500.
Are you on a tight budget? You can still get a $10 lap dance in Las Vegas. Check out how to get free admission to the Vegas nude clubs. And Deja Vu Showgirls has an open bar (domestics and wells) for four hours every night (6-10 pm), plus you get a free drink ticket for after the open bar closes if you arrive by the free club limo. And Deja Vu’s “$2 Tuesday” means all drinks (domestics, imports, wells and calls) are two bucks all night long every Tuesday night.
What if money’s no object and you simply want to experience the very best Vegas has to offer? Check out our post on the best Vegas strip clubs for any budget, large or small, to see all the delightful ways you can blow your mad money on beautiful women in the best Vegas strip clubs.