(My Perspective and Hers)
Me: For years, I tried to convince my wife to come with me to a strip club, but she always said no. She wasn’t against my going to strip clubs without her, and she had accompanied me to a number of topless pools in Vegas and many topless production shows, but she would never go with me to a strip club.
Her: He’d told me that some of the Vegas strip clubs were open to having women and couples as customers, but I was uncomfortable with the idea. I worried that other men at the club would resent me for intruding in their space and also that the dancers might be hostile. They might see me as the club chaperone, there to kill the party.
Me: One recent evening I said (as I had on many other occasions), “I’m going to a strip club later. Why don’t you come? We’ll just have a drink or two and come home early.”
Her: I finally agreed to go with him because I knew he loved strip clubs and I wanted to see one to better understand why.
Me: When she finally said yes, I didn’t actually believe her. I figured she’d change her mind before we actually left the house.
Her: As we left the house, I almost backed out.
Me: When the time came and we got in the car, I was nervous. She’d never minded my going to strip clubs in the past, but she’d never been in a strip club. Maybe her attitude would change. Maybe she’d become like a lot of other guys’ wives and start disliking the idea of my going to strip clubs. Maybe she’d cause an angry scene in the club. Maybe she’d want to divorce me.
Her: I was starting to rethink that whole notion of gaining a better understanding of my husband. I might not like what I’d learn. I might have to divorce him.
Me: I obsessed over how I would handle it when we got there. Did I dare tip a dancer? Watch a dancer? Would my wife be watching me watch? I felt like my id was about to be under the microscope.
Her: I formed a plan to exit quietly and take a cab home at the least sign of trouble.
Me: Then, when we actually got to the club, my wife was the biggest tipper on the rail. Every dancer fell in love with her. She kept telling them how beautiful they were and what great dancers they were and they kept trying to push their titties in her face which kept us both laughing.
Her: We walked in and took a seat at the stage and all my misgivings were overwhelmed by fascination. My first feeling was sheer anthropological excitement—I’d been granted a chance to observe men in their natural habitat, at a time when they felt unobserved, like one of those biologists who live for years in the wild with a wolf pack, or Jane Goodall with her chimps.
What surprised me most was how quiet the men were, watching the dancers with a beatific expression. I had expected a lot of whooping it up, a lot of va-va-vooms, but the men watched the dancers with reverence, as if they were in church.
Me: She was the one doing all the va-va-vooms, though she definitely got me into it with her. This was the most fun I’d ever had in a strip club—just enjoying watching my wife respond to this art form I loved.
Her: I was also surprised by the dancing—I had expected it to be sexy, and it was, but I hadn’t expected it to be as beautiful as it was.
If you’ve been to a casino topless show, the show in a Vegas strip club is nothing like that. Strip club dancing is artistically beautiful, like ballet, but more improvisational. Strip club shows are to casino shows what a jazz jam session is to a symphony orchestra concert.
At a casino show, you’re watching a marionette controlled by a choreographer and the casino’s board of directors. At a strip club, the dancer herself is in charge. The dancers are intelligent, charming, skilled performers who are fully in control of their audience.
I found the whole scene to be wholesome and soul-satisfying, a return to nature. The nudity is like a costume, but the costume is how we were all originally meant to be. The performance gets down to something essential about being human.
Plus, I picked up a few tricks for teasing my husband at home.
Me: The next time she agreed to accompany me to a strip club, it turned out the same. She appeared to have a ball and I had a blast. Now when I go out to a club without her, she always wants to make sure I have enough money to tip the dancers well.
I think it’s time for strip clubs to phase out the obsolete term “gentlemen’s club.” More and more female customers are coming through the doors and they tend to bring a good attitude and a healthy amount of money. From my observations, I’ve noticed that women in strip clubs are more generous than men, with both dollar bills and compliments. I love seeing women sitting on the rail when I enter a strip club, because it means the show is going to be lively. Women hoot and howl for the dancers and the dancers just glow from the adoration.
I think women immediately grasp that strip club dancing is an art form created entirely by women. They see things in the performances that men don’t, and the interaction is mesmerizing.
I would urge any guy who frequents strip clubs to bring his wife or girlfriend with him. Too many women who have never been to a strip club have negative attitudes about the clubs and the women who dance in them. They see TV shows like the Sopranos (a show I still binge on), and they think all strip clubs are dives where the dancers are giving blowjobs in the back room. Fortunately, more and more women are coming to strip clubs to see with their own eyes what’s happening.
If the strip clubs where you live are not as female friendly as those in Vegas, then when you come to Vegas, this is the place to introduce your wife or girlfriend to them. She might surprise you—as my wife surprised me—by buying you a lap dance with your favorite dancer.
Here’s a list of Female-Friendly Strip Clubs in Las Vegas.
You may also be interested in Tips for Couples Going to a Strip Club Together for the First Time. It includes sections on choosing a club, connecting with dancers, and couples’ lap dances.