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How to Avoid Vegas Massage Parlor Clip Joints
Vegas massage parlors are different from massage parlors in other cities because of the large tourist scene here and because massages with full sexual services are available legally at the local brothels.
New 2022 Link: Best Brothels Near Las Vegas
That makes for unique opportunities and unique problems. While there are 50-60 honest massage parlors here that are frequented by locals, there are at least a dozen massage parlors in the city that specialize in ripping off tourists.
Here are some quick tips on what to expect at Vegas massage parlors and on how you can avoid the places that specialize in skinning tourists.
Vegas Massage Prices
The standard cost is usually $60 up front, but can range from $50 – $70, which covers a one-hour massage (no extras). A hand job is usually an extra $60-$70 but in an honest place this will not be offered up front. If you find yourself being quoted prices higher than $70 up front— like hundreds of dollars—get out fast. That’s a tourist clip joint.
Cabbie Clip Joints
Don’t ask a cabbie for advice, or allow a cabbie to persuade you to go to his “favorite place.” Vegas cabbies get a big head fee ($100 to $200) to deliver customers to Vegas massage parlor clip joints (places where they charge a customer $500 by implying he’ll get sex with his massage, but don’t deliver; when the customer complains, security boots him).
Massage parlor clip joints in Vegas are most likely to be located on Industrial Rd, Western Ave, and Highland Dr., Vegas’s “Little Amsterdam” area, or near by. Honest massage parlors are more likely to be located a few blocks away from the Strip on Spring Mountain Rd, Sahara Ave, and other places tourists seldom venture.
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The Way It Works at Vegas Massage Parlors
If the person at the front desk starts asking if you want “full service,” or implies that a much more satisfying experience is available (wink wink), or even starts blatantly offering sexual services, get out. This is not the way honest massage parlors work in Vegas, even when hand jobs are available at the establishment.
At an honest massage parlor, you’ll either be offered a hand job or you won’t during the actual massage. You have to be a regular to get more services than that.
The Masseuses
Honest massage parlors in Vegas feature actual skilled masseuses, mostly attractive to ordinary-looking Chinese women in their 30s and 40s who don’t speak much English. Vegas locals of all ages and all walks of life go to them strictly for therapeutic massage.
That means if you try to talk sex at the front desk, the other locals in the room will cringe and the person at the desk will suspect you’re a vice cop. That’s a great way to ruin your opportunities at the establishment.
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For Guaranteed Sex with Your Massage
If what you are really looking for is a guaranteed hand job to full sexual experience with a hot young girl, go to one of the legal brothels in Pahrump, an hour’s drive from Las Vegas.
You can select the girl of your choice out of the line-up, and you can get a massage with a basic happy ending (hand job) there for close to the house minimum, which means roughly the same as you’d pay at a Vegas massage parlor. Unlike most Vegas massage parlors, the best brothels will have an excellent selection of beautiful women to choose from.
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Nuru Massage and Other Happy Endings
A blow job, full intercourse, or a nuru massage, in which the girl of your choice oils up and slides all over you, will cost more. See our information on brothel prices and negotiations here.
Erotic massage is available at Alien Cathouse (brothel review), Love Ranch Vegas (brothel review), and Sheri’s Ranch (brothel review). Nuru massage is available at Sheri’s Ranch.
These local brothels all provide free round-trip limo service to their establishments 24/7/365. They usually need about an hour’s notice to pick you up.
For more information on what’s available at the local brothels, plus tips on negotiating prices, see “Las Vegas Area Brothels and Escorts – A Guide.”
High-end Las Vegas Escort – I recommend Slixa.com
If you’re looking for a high-end Las Vegas escort (or an escort anywhere), the place I recommend to find one is Slixa.com.
Slixa is an advertising platform for independent escorts, not an escort service. That means none of the escorts advertising there are working for Slixa; they are all self-employed. Slixa isn’t even an agent.
Las Vegas Escort Brenna Sparks Can Be Found at Slixa.com
But unlike Backpage or Craigslist or sites like Eros, Slixa has high standards of whom it will accept as an advertiser. When I did a Google search for negative comments on Slixa, mostly I found complaints by escorts that had quit advertising there because they felt Slixa’s rates were too high, or that had been banned from the site for violating Slixa’s rules, including a strict rule that all photos must depict the actual escort who is advertising.
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How much does a Nuru massage cost at one of the legal brothels?
Kaju: I suspect the cost will vary by masseuse. I’m not sure if they’ll quote you a price over the phone. These are brothels, so you can negotiate over exactly what you want the massage to include, including any varieties of sex.
What sign or jester do you use to get a happy ending
Cowboy, the masseuse will ask or make a clear gesture. All you have to do is say yes.
What are some happy ending parlors in Vegas that you know of ?
Marvelous, basically all of them. Just avoid the ones in the “little Amsterdam” area near the strip clubs. Those are the clip joints that charge $500 and then give you nothing. Any neighborhood establishment is better.
Question: Are the Asian massage girls who advertise that they will come to your hotel room legitimate or a rip-off? There seem to be a lot of them now?
David, they’re like other escorts in Vegas.
Usually the girl in the photo is a model, not a girl who will actually show up. If you call for one of the girls, a girl will show up and you can actually get a massage, but the cost will usually be a lot higher than you’d pay at a local massage parlor. That’s because you have to cover the cost of the agency that referred the girl, as well as the girl.
The girls who show up tend to be strongest at hustling, not massage. Once they’ve gotten you to pay the cover charge for showing up, they know you’re already invested and they can hustle you for a lot more.
I’d recommend a brothel or neighborhood massage parlor as a better value and more erotic experience.
Two questions. 1. Ever used or heard of Vegas massage girls.com? 2. Whats the deal with the car service offered by Sheri’s?
Jay, never heard of that site. The car service offered by Sheri’s, Alien Cathouse and Love Ranch is a limo that will take you round-trip to the brothel upon roughly one hour’s notice.
The limo is free, but in effect the girls will charge you an extra $100-$200 for their services to pay for it.
Hi Arnold,
If the ladies charge 100-200 $ extra to cover the limo expense, aren’t we better off using our own car or a rental ?
Naive query, not an argument.
Am sure you have some reason to recommend this (I guess it’s miserable to drive on our own, or any such inconvenience)… just want to hear from you, rather than make my own guesses.
Thank you.
Don, yes, you’re better off using your own car. But not everyone will have a car to use or be able to drive.
Where can I find a list of massage parlors where the ladies have actual CMT skills and may offer extras but not gouge you with high prices? I use to look at rubmaps.ch but for some reason I’m finding either lack of information or not credible. Thank you.