Palomino Club Las Vegas

A Better Way to Choose a Vegas Strip Club


If you're looking for information on the best strip clubs in Las Vegas, you just hit the jackpot, Jack. You've found the ultimate Las Vegas guide to girls peeling off their underthings in public.

Las Vegas Topless Clubs, Nude Clubs and More

There are 16 topless gentlemen's clubs in Las Vegas, seven clubs where the girls are on stage fully nude, ten casino shows that feature topless showgirls, bars and nightclubs that feature erotic entertainment, peep shows, swingers' clubs, 10 adults-only topless party pools, and a dozen male revues, including one where the guys dance nude.

We've got strip clubs with such an awesome number of drop-dead gorgeous dancers that the scene rivals the harem of the Sultan of Brunei. We've got strip clubs that offer private VIP rooms where you can close the door and get creative with the dancer of your choice.

We've got high-mileage lap dances, nude bed dances, shower shows, mud and oil wrestling, bikini bull-riding, pretty beaver contests, and Monday night football titty blizzards. We’ve got strip clubs that feature stacked dancers, others that feature big booty, and still others that feature 18-year-olds who can fly around the stripper poles.

We’ve even got high-end legal brothels an hour's drive from Vegas.

As a traveling man, I've been to strip clubs in just about every state in the U.S.—including Alaska and Hawaii—and a lot of other countries as well, and I've never seen another town like this one for strip clubs. The best strip clubs in Las Vegas are some of the best strip clubs in the world.

100% Honest Vegas Strip Club Reviews

At Topless Vegas Online, I cover it all. I give it to you straight and tell you exactly what you can expect. If I like a place, I tell you why. If I don't like a place, I tell you the problem. I list the prices for everything, and whether or not I think they're worth it.

Las Vegas Strip Club Costs, Etiquette, Slang and Local Laws

I also fill you in on how to avoid getting ripped off by the tourist traps, and provide tricks the locals use to have maximum fun at minimum cost. And if you're new to the Vegas strip club scene, you'll find guides to Las Vegas strip club etiquette, tipping advice, slang, and local laws.

How to Get the Most from Topless Vegas Online

If you're not familiar with Vegas strip clubs, start with the articles under "Strip Club Survival Guide" at the left. Once you know whether you're looking for a topless or nude club, or some other adult entertainment, check out the "Best Of's" at the top left.

Once you've narrowed down the clubs or shows that you're most interested in, check out their individual reviews for detailed information, hours, prices, and location. And don't forget to check out the free round-trip limo transport offered by many of the clubs. The clubs give free admission when you arrive at their club by their limo, no strings attached. That can save you $70+ to enjoy the pleasures of the establishment.

“Hookernomics” Predicts Weakening of the U.S. Economy

Hookernomics is the study of “vice” (prostitution, gambling, booze, and illicit drugs) to predict the financial health and direction of the country. The inventor of this methodology, Andrew Zatlin, is a serious financial analyst who discovered the connection between vice spending and the national economy by compiling and analyzing Internet data that had never been studied by financial analysts in the past.

His premise is that a decrease in vice spending will be the first sign of a weakening economy because vice is a “luxury” and when people pull back on spending, non-essentials are the first thing to go. Here’s a chart taken from his free report “The Rise of Hookernomics,” which you can download from his Moneyball Economics website. This chart compares spending on vice to U.S. retail sales over a 20-year period (1995-2014).


In describing how the chart was created, Zatlin explains: “I have lagged the Vice Index by a few months. That means that vice spending leads discretionary spending and provides advance insight into inflation expectations and retail spending.”

In other words, if you want to know how department store sales will be in June, look at how much money is being spent on prostitutes in March and April. Let’s look at the Vice Index over the last 14 months:


The Vice Index for the most recent month charted, March 2015, is the lowest it’s been in recent history. And each month since December has been lower than the previous eight months. This portends a bad summer for retail businesses in the U.S.

Who Is Andrew Zatlin?

Lest you think Andrew Zatlin is some kind of nutcase just making shit up, I’ll point out that his economic forecasts are published on Bloomberg and for the year to date, he has been named the leading forecaster for Retail, the leading forecaster for Payrolls, and the leading forecaster for Jobless Claims. The stock market moves on these benchmarks and the Federal Reserve is making their decisions based on them.

The Moneyball Vice Index doesn’t specifically chart strip club revenues in its analysis.

Strippernomics: What to Expect in the Vegas Strip Clubs

A few days ago, I posted  “The Price of Illegal Sex Is Going Down,” based on an article in the Economist. The data in that analysis indicated that when the economy is in decline, prostitutes and other sex workers lower their prices.

So, the bad news is that the U.S. economy, based on the Vice Index, is likely to weaken in the foreseeable future. The good news is that for those who still have some mad money in their pockets, the cost of indulging your vices will go down as well.

To make the most of your upcoming vice pricing power on your next trip to Vegas, see How to Negotiate in the Vegas Strip Clubs.

Las Vegas’ New Urban Club

A Black Strip Club to Replace the Defunct Foxy’s

Seamless Gentlemen’s Club (club review) is now open three nights a week, Thur-Sat, with doors opening at 8 pm.  At 4 am, Seamless becomes an after hours club.

new-SeamlessThis club has just reopened so details may change as the club figures out exactly what it’s doing. From the advertising posters I’ve seen, it appears to be going after the urban crowd with fine, big booty black dancers.

The entry fee is $35 for all. No price break for locals until after hours (4 am), when locals can get in for $10.

On the Mayweather/Pacquiao Fight Weekend (April 30-May 3), Seamless will be open four nights (Thur-Sun), with doors opening at 9 pm. There are package deals available for that weekend on the PartyFixx website.

I’ll get in and check out the club in a week or two.

Updates on Upcoming Vegas Strip Club Special Events

More on Sapphire Pool’s Soft Opening This Weekend

SapphirePool AMore details have come in on the big Sapphire Pool and Day Club 3-day “Soft Opening” this weekend (Friday through Sunday, April 24-26). (See my full review of Sapphire pool from last summer.)

The party will run from noon to 6 pm all three days. There is no cover charge for locals arriving in their own transportation.  Out-of-towners who arrive in Sapphire’s limo will also get free admission.  There will be a cover of $20 for guests (locals or non-locals) who arrive by cab or someone else’s limo.  Call the Sapphire Pool for their free limo at 1.702.869.0003.

There will be food and/or drink specials or freebies for each day of the soft opening, but exactly what they are will depend on sponsors and will be described to guests as they arrive each day. Here’s the info available so far:

“Fireball Friday” means that Fireball Whiskey will be sponsoring Friday’s party, which means that free shots of Fireball will be passed out throughout the day. Fireball is flavored with cinnamon and delivers a pleasant burn to your mouth that will probably get you to order an ice cold beer as a chaser.

“Selfie Saturday” proved to be popular last summer and the tradition will continue this summer. Take a selfie and post it to any social media page, show the bartender or one of the servers and you will get a shot on the house.

Exactly what will happen on Sunday’s “Ice Cream Sundaze” has not yet been determined, other than the fact that it will have something to do with ice cream. Last summer, the pool had a couple of ice cream eating contests that were pretty wild. They also have a “Triple D” ice cream sundae on their menu that’s monstrously huge (meant to be shared).

In any case, this is a three-day pool party with no cover charge for anyone (except those who decide to arrive by cab). You can reserve a daybed, cabana, or bungalow at the Sapphire Pool and Day Club website.

Little Darlings Updates

Dancer at Little Darlings Vegas

Vallerina Dances at Little Darlings

First off, if you have Nevada ID, don’t forget that tonight (Monday) is “Locals Night” at Little Darlings (club review /club website) which means locals get in FREE.

Soft drinks at Little Darlings are now $4 each every night. Bottled drinks are $6 each, while slushies are $12 each. Admission is $33 for out-of-towners, $13 for locals, but out-of-towners can get in for the $13 locals’ price by using the coupon on our homepage below the top blog post, which also gets you a 2-for-1 private dance. You must take the Little Darlings free limo or arrive in your own car–not a cab!–to get this discount. Call 1.702.371.2181 for the free club limo.

Little Darlings Lingerie Night

Last night I went to see “Lingerie Night” at Little Darlings–an event the club plans to hold every Sunday.

On Lingerie Nights, the cocktail servers wear black lace lingerie ensembles that consist of matching bra and panty sets with a diaphanous negligee.

The club advertises that the cocktail waitresses’ panties will be auctioned off to the highest bidders at midnight. But if the crowd is light, instead of auctioning off the girls’ panties, they give them away with a special event on stage.

Here’s how they did it last night:  The DJ called the cocktail servers onto the stage shortly after midnight, still wearing their lingerie ensembles. Then he invited members of the audience to come onto the stage with the girls. A half dozen audience members (male and female) bravely jumped right up there.

Then the DJ started playing the “Cupid Shuffle,” which got all on stage doing the popular line dance. The funniest part of this was the WTF looks on some of the audience members’ faces (the guys) as they stumbled through the routine. The waitresses had it down, so I suspect they knew it was coming.

The highlight of the event came after about a minute of the Cupid Shuffle, when the DJ cut the music and told everyone on stage to stay right there while the waitresses removed their panties. Down came the drawers while the audience volunteers stood there with their mouths hanging open.

Then, each waitress gave the panties she’d removed to one of the audience volunteers, and that’s about when everyone in the club noticed that each waitress had been wearing two pairs of panties and only removed the outside pair!

The girls looked extra cute running around all night in their little black lace ensembles, with some in stockings and garter belts.  The audience volunteers who got to dance on stage and score the panties looked happy, so the play is to be ready to volunteer and get up on that stage fast.

Bonnie Rotten at Deja Vu the Night of the Mayweather/Pacquiao Fight

Bonnie Rotten On Stage at Deja Vu Showgirls

Bonnie Rotten On Stage at Deja Vu Showgirls

Bonnie Rotten will be performing at Deja Vu Showgirls (club review / club website) on Friday, May 1 and Saturday, May 2–the same night as the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight. That is going to be one helluva night, as Deja Vu has already made national and international news by announcing that the winner of Pacquiao/Mayweather will get free couch dances for life and that a bunch of the club’s dancers will be getting the winner’s name tattooed on their bodies.

Deja Vu may be the craziest place to watch the fight, especially with Bonnie Rotten in attendance and performing after the knockout or decision or whatever. I’ll remind you once more that when Bonnie performed at Deja Vu in January it was standing room only, so get to the club early if you want a seat on either night.

Bonnie performs at midnight and 2 am.  She practically makes love to her audience–and I mean she gets in laps and on top of people and makes out with audience members, both male and female.  Last time she appeared, she got a standing ovation from the crowd at both performances.

Call 1.702.366.1633 for the free club limo, which also gets you free entry (a $33 savings for non-locals), and use the coupon on the right sidebar of our homepage for a free drink.

The Price of Illegal Sex Is Going Down

It’s a Buyer’s Market for Prostitution These Days

An interesting survey was published in the Economist last August. “More Bang for Your Buck” provides an analysis of prostitution as a business. The basic finding is that the cost of sex is going down.

Most of the data used for this analysis came from a website in the U.S. that is used by prostitutes and their customers to connect. Because prostitution is illegal in most of the U.S., the Economist did not name the website. But the author of the report states that more than 190,000 customer reviews were used to compile the data.

It appears that prostitution has been affected by the worldwide economic slowdown much the same as strip clubs. In November, I reported in “UK Survey Shows Lap Dancer Income Down 18% in the Past Year” that the average nightly take home pay of lap dancers in the UK had gone down from £280 ($445) to £230 ($365) from 2013 to 2014 as a result of strip club customers having less mad money.

Some of the more interesting findings from the Economist survey:

In 2006, the world average price for one hour with a prostitute was $340. In 2014, the world average price for one hour with a prostitute was $260. That means the average price of one hour of sex with a prostitute has been going down at the rate $10 per year over the last eight years. (At this rate, by 2041, an hour of sex with a prostitute will be free!)

The Economist survey did not include Las Vegas.  Of the major US cities included in the survey, the ones with the most expensive prostitutes from 2012 through 2014 were Boston and San Francisco, where the cost of an hour was above $350. (That’s probably right around the Vegas average too, if you include both cheaper independents and higher-priced escorts.)

The major US cities with the least expensive prostitutes were Chicago and Cleveland, where the cost of an hour is below $280.

Factors That Affect the Hourly Rate a Prostitute Can Charge

According to the Economist, there are a number of things a working girl can do to make her value go up.

Breast implants may make economic sense if a prostitute plans to stay in the biz long enough, since going from flat-chested to a D-cup increases hourly rates by approximately $40. A $4,000 surgery would pay for itself after around 100 hours.

A gym membership may make sense as well, as a prostitute with an “average” build makes about $40 more per hour than a prostitute with a “heavy” build. And a prostitute with an “athletic” build does even better, making about $40 more per hour than one with an average build.

Blonde hair is worth about $40 more per hour than black hair. And long hair is worth about $40 more per hour than short hair.

One surprising finding to me was that a college degree is the single biggest factor in the hourly rate a prostitute can charge her customers.  Prostitutes who are college graduates earned on average 31% more than non-graduates.

Putting all of this together, it seems a U.S. prostitute who was determined to make the most money fastest would: Get a boob job to increase her breasts to D-cups, grow her hair long and dye it blonde, work out regularly to maintain an athletic build, get a college degree, and move to either Boston or San Francisco (or Vegas).

A lot of these same factors would theoretically apply to dancers in strip clubs. Big tits, long blond hair and an athletic build would all likely increase a dancer’s income. As for the college degree, it sure couldn’t hurt. Dancers who make the most money do so by talking with customers.  The more educated a dancer is the higher the caliber of customer she could presumably connect with.

Where to Find Cheap Sex

Guys who are looking for inexpensive prostitutes would do well to get out of the U.S. altogether.  Although Chicago is the U.S. city where you’ll pay the least on average for an hour with a prostitute (again, about $270, which is close to the worldwide average rate), the average price of a prostitute in Montreal, Prague, London, Amsterdam, and Paris are all below the average hourly rate in Chicago.

Because most of the data in this report came from customers who were connecting with prostitutes over the Internet, the major sex-tourist cities like Bangkok and Singapore, where sex-for-pay is much less expensive, were not included.

And what about legal prostitutes in the U.S.?  The rates quoted above for U.S. cities are all for illegal prostitutes, but I can assure you that the rates for legal prostitutes in the brothels near Las Vegas are quite a bit higher than the average rates in any of the cities in the Economist survey.  The average rate charged for an hour in a Vegas-area brothel is running over $900, with most brothel workers asking $1200 for full service for an hour.

For more information, see our article on Las Vegas area legal brothels vs. massage parlors, escort services, and freelance prostitutes.