A Better Way to Choose a Vegas Strip Club

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If you're looking for information on the best strip clubs in Las Vegas, you just hit the jackpot, Jack. You've found the ultimate Las Vegas guide to girls peeling off their underthings in public.

Las Vegas Topless Clubs, Nude Clubs and More

There are 16 topless gentlemen's clubs in Las Vegas, seven clubs where the girls are on stage fully nude, ten casino shows that feature topless showgirls, bars and nightclubs that feature erotic entertainment, peep shows, swingers' clubs, 10 adults-only topless party pools, and a dozen male revues, including one where the guys dance nude.

We've got strip clubs with such an awesome number of drop-dead gorgeous dancers that the scene rivals the harem of the Sultan of Brunei. We've got strip clubs that offer private VIP rooms where you can close the door and get creative with the dancer of your choice.

We've got high-mileage lap dances, nude bed dances, shower shows, mud and oil wrestling, bikini bull-riding, pretty beaver contests, and Monday night football titty blizzards. We’ve got strip clubs that feature stacked dancers, others that feature big booty, and still others that feature 18-year-olds who can fly around the stripper poles.

We’ve even got high-end legal brothels an hour's drive from Vegas.

As a traveling man, I've been to strip clubs in just about every state in the U.S.—including Alaska and Hawaii—and a lot of other countries as well, and I've never seen another town like this one for strip clubs. The best strip clubs in Las Vegas are some of the best strip clubs in the world.

100% Honest Vegas Strip Club Reviews

At Topless Vegas Online, I cover it all. I give it to you straight and tell you exactly what you can expect. If I like a place, I tell you why. If I don't like a place, I tell you the problem. I list the prices for everything, and whether or not I think they're worth it.

Las Vegas Strip Club Costs, Etiquette, Slang and Local Laws

I also fill you in on how to avoid getting ripped off by the tourist traps, and provide tricks the locals use to have maximum fun at minimum cost. And if you're new to the Vegas strip club scene, you'll find guides to Las Vegas strip club etiquette, tipping advice, slang, and local laws.

How to Get the Most from Topless Vegas Online

If you're not familiar with Vegas strip clubs, start with the articles under "Strip Club Survival Guide" at the left. Once you know whether you're looking for a topless or nude club, or some other adult entertainment, check out the "Best Of's" at the top left.

Once you've narrowed down the clubs or shows that you're most interested in, check out their individual reviews for detailed information, hours, prices, and location. And don't forget to check out the free round-trip limo transport offered by many of the clubs. The clubs give free admission when you arrive at their club by their limo, no strings attached. That can save you $70+ to enjoy the pleasures of the establishment.

EDM at Little Darlings

If you’re into the club scene in Vegas (or anywhere else in the free world) you probably know what techno-dubstep-house-trance-electro-hardstyle-UK-garage music is. If not, forget about it. I wouldn’t know a dubstep if I tripped over one.

I finally made it to Little D’s on a couple recent Mondays to see what EDM (Electronic Dance Mondays) was all about. From my perspective, it’s about getting more mileage for your lap-dance bucks.
LD Girls Front2

Here’s what you need to know. Nightclub DJs are different from strip club DJs. Strip club DJs talk more. (And the Hustler Club has been advertising lately that for $50, they’ll make their DJ shut up for ten minutes! I don’t know if any customers have taken them up on it yet.) Strip club DJs have a job where they play 2 1/2 to 3 minutes of a song, then start the next one for 2 1/2 to 3 minutes, then start the next one, etc. This is because lap dances are sold to customers by the song, not by a specified time period. It’s the DJs job to keep that time period short, so 2 minutes and 45 seconds into whatever’s beating out of the speakers, he jumps in with That’s Brandi and she’d just love to get you into the VIP room and she’s available like all our lovely ladies here tonight yadda-yadda-yadda

Nightclub DJs are different. Nightclub DJs are the new drummers. They look at sound equipment used by most sane people for playing recorded music, and they see a drum set. DJs are drummers in disguise. If you watch a club DJ, at first he seems kind of normal; but if you really study him, you can tell he’s barely on this planet. He never looks at a clock to remind himself when three minutes of a song are up. Which song? Sometimes, he’s playing two or three songs at the same time.

LD Girls Back2So, every Monday night, Little Darlings is hiring a nightclub DJ (a different one each week) to make their strip club sound like no other strip club in town. I like the sound. The DJs are pretty good drummers. The reason any of this is important, however, is that when you buy a lap dance on a Monday night at Little D’s, you might get more than the industry standard time-wise. Sometimes the dancers aren’t quite sure if a song’s over yet. I timed one “song” at about 4 minutes and another one close to 5. Lap dances take place in private rooms, not out on the main floor. In the main room, the stage dancers are the show.

Monday is also couples night at LD and a section of the main floor is cleared for customers to dance. Couples do attend, but I never saw any of them dancing. I probably didn’t stay late enough. My nightclub days are over.

To read my full review of Little Darlings, click here.

 

Spanking Beavers

Strip Club Needs New Ad Slogan

Beavers-ad

The Advertising Standards Authority has spanked Beavers Strip Club by publicly admonishing the club for an ad that appeared in the Watford Observer (somewhere in the UK) with the line, “Sorry baby, the car broke down,”  which the ASA ruled to be “demeaning to women.” Beavers must now adopt a new advertising slogan.

I find the ad funny and more offensive to men than to women, but I think we men deserve the offense. We are all excuses when it comes to time spent in strip clubs.

The ASA apparently took no offense at the name “Beavers,” as the name is just honest advertising. A spokesman for the club said the new slogan would likely be: “Beavers. Lots of them. And some really lovely ones.”

Lap Dancing: Not an Amusement

Philly Says Local Strip Clubs Owe “Amusement Tax”

The city of Philadelphia recently attempted to extort hundreds of thousands of dollars from local strip clubs by claiming that for years the clubs have failed to pay the “amusement tax” on lap dances. Attorneys for the clubs argued that lap dances at strip clubs are theater, which is exempt from the amusement tax. Read more…

Marquee on Strip Club In Evansville

BusybodyA strip club in Evansville, Indiana, recently got in trouble with the law for a sign they posted on the club marquee that offered a bit more than your average lap dance. Neighbors complained and the cops called the club and told them to take down the sign.

A “blow job” is a cocktail made with Bailey’s Irish Cream and Kahlua. But the cops aren’t letting the club off the hook that easily because in Indiana it’s a violation of state law for a strip club to give away free liquor. (Even the casinos in Indiana are forbidden from providing free booze to customers.) All I can say is I’m glad I’m in Vegas.