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A Better Way to Choose a Vegas Strip Club

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If you're looking for information on the best strip clubs in Las Vegas, you just hit the jackpot, Jack. You've found the ultimate Las Vegas guide to girls peeling off their underthings in public.

Las Vegas Topless Clubs, Nude Clubs and More

There are 16 topless gentlemen's clubs in Las Vegas, seven clubs where the girls are on stage fully nude, ten casino shows that feature topless showgirls, bars and nightclubs that feature erotic entertainment, peep shows, swingers' clubs, 10 adults-only topless party pools, and a dozen male revues, including one where the guys dance nude.

We've got strip clubs with such an awesome number of drop-dead gorgeous dancers that the scene rivals the harem of the Sultan of Brunei. We've got strip clubs that offer private VIP rooms where you can close the door and get creative with the dancer of your choice.

We've got high-mileage lap dances, nude bed dances, shower shows, mud and oil wrestling, bikini bull-riding, pretty beaver contests, and Monday night football titty blizzards. We’ve got strip clubs that feature stacked dancers, others that feature big booty, and still others that feature 18-year-olds who can fly around the stripper poles.

We’ve even got high-end legal brothels an hour's drive from Vegas.

As a traveling man, I've been to strip clubs in just about every state in the U.S.—including Alaska and Hawaii—and a lot of other countries as well, and I've never seen another town like this one for strip clubs. The best strip clubs in Las Vegas are some of the best strip clubs in the world.

100% Honest Vegas Strip Club Reviews

At Topless Vegas Online, I cover it all. I give it to you straight and tell you exactly what you can expect. If I like a place, I tell you why. If I don't like a place, I tell you the problem. I list the prices for everything, and whether or not I think they're worth it.

Las Vegas Strip Club Costs, Etiquette, Slang and Local Laws

I also fill you in on how to avoid getting ripped off by the tourist traps, and provide tricks the locals use to have maximum fun at minimum cost. And if you're new to the Vegas strip club scene, you'll find guides to Las Vegas strip club etiquette, tipping advice, slang, and local laws.

How to Get the Most from Topless Vegas Online

If you're not familiar with Vegas strip clubs, start with the articles under "Strip Club Survival Guide" at the left. Once you know whether you're looking for a topless or nude club, or some other adult entertainment, check out the "Best Of's" at the top left.

Once you've narrowed down the clubs or shows that you're most interested in, check out their individual reviews for detailed information, hours, prices, and location. And don't forget to check out the free round-trip limo transport offered by many of the clubs. The clubs give free admission when you arrive at their club by their limo, no strings attached. That can save you $70+ to enjoy the pleasures of the establishment.

X Rocks Brings Vegas Another Shower Show

x rocks girlI saw “X Rocks” at the Rio last night for their one-year anniversary show. This time, I had a good seat, and I found out that I’d missed a lot the first time I saw it because I literally couldn’t see much of it.

Technically, the King’s Room should be too small to have bad seats, but if you’re seated out on the edges, especially close to the entry door, there will be chunks of the show that are invisible to you. Seating is not assigned, so get there early and grab a good seat.

Some of the things I noted this time around:  Two girls fooling around on a bed of rose petals to Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.”  A topless group number to Van Halen’s “I’m Your Ice Cream Man.”  And a pole dancer doing her thing to Nickelback’s “Shakin’ Hands.”  (Though the dancer seemed talented, the pole was wobbly, so if you’re looking for pole dancing in particular try Pin Up or a Vegas nude club.)

Also, there’s finally another shower show in Vegas, as two dancers get into a tub with a working shower … well, it works for about ten seconds anyway. Personally, I like the shower show at Talk of the Town better.

X Rocks is probably the only show ever to feature Abba’s “Dancing Queen” followed by Theory of a Deadman’s “Bad Girlfriend” (My girlfriend is a dick magnet). Abba seemed out of place in this metal-heavy extravaganza.

For more on this show, see my full review of X Rocks. The dancers are gorgeous and work hard and are topless on most numbers.  Just make sure you sit close.

Listen, Son – Hell-Based Sex Ed

According to last Sunday’s Las Vegas Review Journal, local parents are in an uproar about the Clark County School District’s plans to implement sex education courses in grades K-12. One mother said: “I will not stand by and have this taught to my children. I will fight to the death.”  Says another: “I will be pressing charges against anyone exposing my children to these things. That includes teachers and the School District.”

The school district’s current sex education curriculum is abstinence based. As Nevada has the seventh-highest teen birth rate in the U.S., it’s obvious the existing curriculum is not working. But that’s not the issue.

One of the proposals in the new curriculum that has parents freaking out is that children in the 5-8 age range may be taught that “touching and rubbing one’s genitals to feel good is called masturbation.”  One parent said:  “They want to teach my five year old to masturbate?”

As it happens, I am something of an expert on this matter.   Read more…

Bombshell McGee Will Be Detonating at Little Darlings This Week

michelle-bombshell-mcgee-1If you want to see the woman who broke up actress Sandra Bullock’s marriage, Bombshell McGee will be appearing this week at Little Darlings.

Bombshell’s affairs have been required reading in trailer parks all over America for years now as she breaks up marriages, poses in Nazi garb, and discusses Charlie Sheen’s cocaine stash. No, I’m not reading supermarket tabloids. I got all this from the Huffington Post.

In any case, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, a former tattoo and fetish model and current Hollywood celeb, will be performing live, and presumably disrobing, at Little Darlings on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, October 2, 3, and 4, after 11 pm.

For free admission (regularly $33 for out-of-towners and $13 for locals) present the coupon on the home page of this web site, right below the top blog post, or show it at the door on your phone (must arrive by club limo or drive yourself). Call 702-371-2181 for free round-trip limo transport. (For info on other coming events, see club web site.)

Former Vegas Strip Club Mogul Mike Galardi Gets off the Hook

Mike Galardi, former owner of Cheetahs in both Las Vegas and San Diego, did time in a federal prison (2007-8) for bribing city officials in both towns.  But now he has finally caught a break.

One of the San Diego officials, Mike Zucchet, had filed a lawsuit against Galardi in 2012, alleging that Galardi had lied about him taking a bribe.  Now, according to the San Diego Union Tribune, an appeals court has dismissed the lawsuit.  Galardi is off the hook.

If you followed the “Operation G-Sting” (also known as “strippergate”) news from 2005-7, you’ll remember that Galardi admitted he’d given an estimated $200k to $400k to various city officials through the years to persuade them to change various city laws and regulations.  Specifically, he wanted the city regulations to allow touching between strip club dancers and their customers. Read more…