Sapphire Las Vegas Topless Pool
Palomino Club Las Vegas

A Better Way to Choose a Vegas Strip Club

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If you're looking for information on the best strip clubs in Las Vegas, you just hit the jackpot, Jack. You've found the ultimate Las Vegas guide to girls peeling off their underthings in public.

Las Vegas Topless Clubs, Nude Clubs and More

There are 16 topless gentlemen's clubs in Las Vegas, seven clubs where the girls are on stage fully nude, ten casino shows that feature topless showgirls, bars and nightclubs that feature erotic entertainment, peep shows, swingers' clubs, 10 adults-only topless party pools, and a dozen male revues, including one where the guys dance nude.

We've got strip clubs with such an awesome number of drop-dead gorgeous dancers that the scene rivals the harem of the Sultan of Brunei. We've got strip clubs that offer private VIP rooms where you can close the door and get creative with the dancer of your choice.

We've got high-mileage lap dances, nude bed dances, shower shows, mud and oil wrestling, bikini bull-riding, pretty beaver contests, and Monday night football titty blizzards. We’ve got strip clubs that feature stacked dancers, others that feature big booty, and still others that feature 18-year-olds who can fly around the stripper poles.

We’ve even got high-end legal brothels an hour's drive from Vegas.

As a traveling man, I've been to strip clubs in just about every state in the U.S.—including Alaska and Hawaii—and a lot of other countries as well, and I've never seen another town like this one for strip clubs. The best strip clubs in Las Vegas are some of the best strip clubs in the world.

100% Honest Vegas Strip Club Reviews

At Topless Vegas Online, I cover it all. I give it to you straight and tell you exactly what you can expect. If I like a place, I tell you why. If I don't like a place, I tell you the problem. I list the prices for everything, and whether or not I think they're worth it.

Las Vegas Strip Club Costs, Etiquette, Slang and Local Laws

I also fill you in on how to avoid getting ripped off by the tourist traps, and provide tricks the locals use to have maximum fun at minimum cost. And if you're new to the Vegas strip club scene, you'll find guides to Las Vegas strip club etiquette, tipping advice, slang, and local laws.

How to Get the Most from Topless Vegas Online

If you're not familiar with Vegas strip clubs, start with the articles under "Strip Club Survival Guide" at the left. Once you know whether you're looking for a topless or nude club, or some other adult entertainment, check out the "Best Of's" at the top left.

Once you've narrowed down the clubs or shows that you're most interested in, check out their individual reviews for detailed information, hours, prices, and location. And don't forget to check out the free round-trip limo transport offered by many of the clubs. The clubs give free admission when you arrive at their club by their limo, no strings attached. That can save you $70+ to enjoy the pleasures of the establishment.

Spanking Beavers

Strip Club Needs New Ad Slogan

Beavers-ad

The Advertising Standards Authority has spanked Beavers Strip Club by publicly admonishing the club for an ad that appeared in the Watford Observer (somewhere in the UK) with the line, “Sorry baby, the car broke down,”  which the ASA ruled to be “demeaning to women.” Beavers must now adopt a new advertising slogan.

I find the ad funny and more offensive to men than to women, but I think we men deserve the offense. We are all excuses when it comes to time spent in strip clubs.

The ASA apparently took no offense at the name “Beavers,” as the name is just honest advertising. A spokesman for the club said the new slogan would likely be: “Beavers. Lots of them. And some really lovely ones.”

Lap Dancing: Not an Amusement

Philly Says Local Strip Clubs Owe “Amusement Tax”

The city of Philadelphia recently attempted to extort hundreds of thousands of dollars from local strip clubs by claiming that for years the clubs have failed to pay the “amusement tax” on lap dances. Attorneys for the clubs argued that lap dances at strip clubs are theater, which is exempt from the amusement tax. Read more…

Marquee on Strip Club In Evansville

BusybodyA strip club in Evansville, Indiana, recently got in trouble with the law for a sign they posted on the club marquee that offered a bit more than your average lap dance. Neighbors complained and the cops called the club and told them to take down the sign.

A “blow job” is a cocktail made with Bailey’s Irish Cream and Kahlua. But the cops aren’t letting the club off the hook that easily because in Indiana it’s a violation of state law for a strip club to give away free liquor. (Even the casinos in Indiana are forbidden from providing free booze to customers.) All I can say is I’m glad I’m in Vegas.

Miss Bum Bum Brazil

Beauty contests in Brazil are somewhat different from beauty contests anywhere else. Like Miss America in the U.S., the winner of Brazil’s annual Miss Bum Bum pageant becomes a national celebrity who will earn a lot of money in product endorsements. I’m not sure exactly what kinds of products Miss Bum Bum 2013, 25-year-old Dai Macedo will be endorsing, but I’ll take a dozen.