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A Better Way to Choose a Vegas Strip Club

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If you're looking for information on the best strip clubs in Las Vegas, you just hit the jackpot, Jack. You've found the ultimate Las Vegas guide to girls peeling off their underthings in public.

Las Vegas Topless Clubs, Nude Clubs and More

There are 16 topless gentlemen's clubs in Las Vegas, seven clubs where the girls are on stage fully nude, ten casino shows that feature topless showgirls, bars and nightclubs that feature erotic entertainment, peep shows, swingers' clubs, 10 adults-only topless party pools, and a dozen male revues, including one where the guys dance nude.

We've got strip clubs with such an awesome number of drop-dead gorgeous dancers that the scene rivals the harem of the Sultan of Brunei. We've got strip clubs that offer private VIP rooms where you can close the door and get creative with the dancer of your choice.

We've got high-mileage lap dances, nude bed dances, shower shows, mud and oil wrestling, bikini bull-riding, pretty beaver contests, and Monday night football titty blizzards. We’ve got strip clubs that feature stacked dancers, others that feature big booty, and still others that feature 18-year-olds who can fly around the stripper poles.

We’ve even got high-end legal brothels an hour's drive from Vegas.

As a traveling man, I've been to strip clubs in just about every state in the U.S.—including Alaska and Hawaii—and a lot of other countries as well, and I've never seen another town like this one for strip clubs. The best strip clubs in Las Vegas are some of the best strip clubs in the world.

100% Honest Vegas Strip Club Reviews

At Topless Vegas Online, I cover it all. I give it to you straight and tell you exactly what you can expect. If I like a place, I tell you why. If I don't like a place, I tell you the problem. I list the prices for everything, and whether or not I think they're worth it.

Las Vegas Strip Club Costs, Etiquette, Slang and Local Laws

I also fill you in on how to avoid getting ripped off by the tourist traps, and provide tricks the locals use to have maximum fun at minimum cost. And if you're new to the Vegas strip club scene, you'll find guides to Las Vegas strip club etiquette, tipping advice, slang, and local laws.

How to Get the Most from Topless Vegas Online

If you're not familiar with Vegas strip clubs, start with the articles under "Strip Club Survival Guide" at the left. Once you know whether you're looking for a topless or nude club, or some other adult entertainment, check out the "Best Of's" at the top left.

Once you've narrowed down the clubs or shows that you're most interested in, check out their individual reviews for detailed information, hours, prices, and location. And don't forget to check out the free round-trip limo transport offered by many of the clubs. The clubs give free admission when you arrive at their club by their limo, no strings attached. That can save you $70+ to enjoy the pleasures of the establishment.

Federal Judge Rules in Favor of Cheetahs’ San Diego Dancers

A strip club in San Diego and its dancers have won a court victory against government harassment this week.  Here’s the story:

Back in July, 2013, San Diego police conducted a raid at Cheetahs, a topless club in San Diego.

The cops forced the dancers into a back room, where they held them against their will for more than an hour, took photographs of the dancers against their will, and required the dancers to remove their clothing, supposedly so they could get pics of the dancers’ tattoos. Dancers say they were verbally insulted by the cops and threatened with arrest if they did not comply.

None of the dancers were charged with any crimes, nor were the police investigating reports of any crimes at the club. The San Diego Police Department said that since the law allows them to take pics of criminals’ tattoos to keep on file for identification purposes, cops should also be permitted to take pics of strippers’ tattoos in case any of them ever commit a crime.

In other words, they were treating dancers who had done nothing wrong as if they were automatically criminals just because they were dancers.

When Cheetahs filed a lawsuit against the city for the raid, the city of San Diego pulled the club’s business license in retaliation and tried to get the club’s lawsuit thrown out.  In July, 2015, a Federal District Court found in favor of the club, ruling that the club’s lawsuit could proceed. The club has remained open while the license appeal is in process.

The two dozen dancers who had been held against their will and forced to strip for the cops also filed their own lawsuit against the city of San Diego, and the city filed a motion with the court to have the dancers’ lawsuit thrown out.

Now a Federal District Court judge has ruled against the city, allowing the dancers’ lawsuit to go forward. The judge is quoted in the San Diego Union Tribune:

“Submitting photographs and providing identification during reasonable inspections, to avoid losing a permit, is qualitatively different than stripping down to undergarments, huddling in a dressing room for up to an hour, and submitting to a photo shoot that involved the exposure of intimate body parts, to avoid arrest.”

Personally, if I lived in San Diego, I would be outraged that my tax dollars were being used to pay cops to spend the day being perverts and voyeurs instead of addressing actual crime and public safety.  I’d also be outraged that my tax dollars were being spent on a vindictive court battle against a perfectly legal business that hadn’t committed a crime.

You’ll find more info and links to my comments in some past posts on this story here.
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Open Bar at Sapphire for the 2016 NCAA Championship Game Monday

Free Admission if You Arrive by Your Own Car or the Free Club Limo

Sapphire Las Vegas Dancer

Eva Is a Sapphire Gem

Get your bets down in the casino sports books in the afternoon, then drive over to Sapphire (club review / club website) – or call for the club’s free limo – to watch the game in more comfortable surroundings.

Why waste your time in a casino, when sports books don’t have lap dancers? If you’re going to waste time in Vegas, at least do it in a room full of hot babes who want to get topless and snuggly. Bring twenties. The lap dance scene will get wild in the main room after the game. Hundreds of dancers, great selection.

Tip off is at 6:19 pm tomorrow (Monday, April 4). Sapphire will be screening the game in their Showroom with no cover charge (just don’t arrive in a cab or commercial limo) with an open hosted bar for the first half of the game. You won’t beat that deal anywhere else in Vegas – no cover, three giant HD screens (plus dozens of smaller screens), and free booze.

As for the game . . . the North Carolina Tar Heels are still slightly favored by the Vegas bookies (NC -2) over Villanova for the NCAA Championship.

But Villanova essentially gave Oklahoma a wedgie, then pulled down OK’s shorts and paddled them in the Final Four game yesterday, trouncing OK 95 – 51 in one of the worst drubbings in a semi-final college hoops game ever. Expect Villanova to be up for this game with the Tar Heels. Villanova hasn’t won the championship since 1985, and after trashing OK for a warm-up, they’re ready to make history.

Bottle and group packages are available on Sapphire’s website here. Or call for the free club limo at 702-869-0003. (There’s a $15 reservations fee for the limo, waived if you purchase a buy-1-get-1-free drink coupon or bottle–a no-brainer.)
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This Weekend in the Vegas Strip Clubs

Friday, April 1

Palomino Club –  Where You Can Have a Drink while the G-strings Come Off

Palomino Club Las Vegas Dancer Bethany

Bethany Dances at Palomino Club

Palomino Club (club review / club website) is the only club in Vegas with a full bar where the dancers are fully nude. This combination (pussy and booze) is what locals call the Vegas Combo. None of the other strip clubs in Vegas will serve you a Vegas Combo, but at Palomino, it’s automatic. You walk in, sit down, see the pussy and say to the waitress, “Bring on the booze.”

The drink prices are the same for locals and out-of-towners, and a great value for all by Vegas strip club/night club standards – $6 drafts, $8 domestics. There’s no extra bar tab in the VIP room, where you can get a nude show with any dancer in the house in a private, curtained booth for only $100.

The stage show at Palomino is the most erotic in town.  For an idea of what you’re in for, see Lilith and Fiona’s girl-on-girl show.

Palomino’s $60 “Flying Solo” package gets you free round-trip transportation by the club limo, free admission, a line pass and two drinks–or roughly $90 in value. Don’t waste your money on cab fare and cover charge. You can get a lap dance or two with what you save.

Groups of two or more can get free admission to Palomino (a $30 savings for each member of your party) by calling 1.702.327.7258 for the club’s free limo. Locals who arrive in their own cars are free, but if you arrive late on a busy night, you may be hit with a tab to cover two drinks up front.

Note: Palomino is a popular club that gets packed at peak hours, so arrange for limo pick-up by 9:30-10:00 pm–or buy a package at the club website–to make sure both a limo and a good table will be available.  You must be 21+.

Sapphire – Where the Breasts Are

Sapphire Las Vegas Dancer

Brittnay Is a Sapphire Gem

As a group, American men are starving for affection. They’re brave, but they’re lonely. They’re smart, but unfulfilled. They have amazing life accomplishments, but they don’t feel they have enough breasts in their lives.

Sapphire, the Word’s Largest Gentlemen’s Club (club review / club website), is here to help. If you’re suffering from what doctors call “titty deficiency anemia,” Sapphire has 400+ gorgeous dancers in the club at peak hours, all in g-strings and tiny tops, and all looking for a man who has twenty bucks, and wants to see that tiny top come off for a warm, friendly, hands-on experience.

Plus, every Friday and Saturday night, Sapphire is featuring a different adult film star, both on stage and available for private shows and dinner dates.

Tonight, porn queen Shawna Lenee will be the featured performer. Shawna starred in the heartwarming family favorite, A Big Tit Christmas. 

Packages start at $135 to join Shawna at her private VIP table (open bar included) and run to $1600 for a full steak-and-lobster dinner date and Skybox private show (reserve early–you can do it  online here).

If you’re coming mainly for the lap dance scene, the VIP65 package gets you a reserved table and provides extra bang for your buck (see my $ analysis in the club review–link above), all expenses considered.  Note: Do not take a cab or commercial limo or you will be charged the $35 entry fee. 

You can also get free admission by driving yourself or calling for the free club limo at 702-869-0003. (There’s a $15 reservations fee for the limo, waived if you purchase a buy-1-get-1-free drink coupon or bottle–a no-brainer.)

Saturday, April 2

Sapphire – Get Close Up and Friendly with Rubber Doll

Rubber Doll

Rubber Doll

Sapphire (club review / club website) is where the professional lap dance testers go to hone their craft. For a pro like me, the name of the game is selection, selection, and selection, and Sapphire’s got 400 dancers with 800 tits to select from.

I get lap dances in clubs all over this town, but when I want to literally drown myself in bodies that look like Rubber Doll’s (see pic at right) – when that’s the kind of lap dance fix I need – I go to Sapphire.

Tonight (Friday), Rubber Doll will be performing on stage and available for private VIP dances at the club (reserve early). Rubber Doll is a relative newcomer to the porn scene and specializes in fetish videos, squeezing herself into and out of shiny latex garments. You can watch her squeeze out of some outfits on Sapphire’s stage tonight, and if you go for some VIP time with her, you might get her to remove those little latex X’s.

You can reserve a seat at Rubber Doll’s VIP table with a two-hour open bar for $135, or set up a private steak and lobster dinner date with her online here. For more information, see Sapphire Offers a Girlfriend Experience with Adult Film Stars.

With Sapphire’s other package deals (available online) you get a discount on drink prices, plus free limo transport and admission, a line pass and a reserved VIP table–a real value because seats are hard to come by at peak hours and it’s hard to get a lap dance if you can’t find a place to sit down.

If you’re alone, the VIP65 package gets you a reserved table and provides extra bang for your buck (see my $ analysis in the club review–link above), all expenses considered.  Note: Do not take a cab or commercial limo or you will be charged the $35 entry fee. 

You can also get free admission by driving yourself or calling for the free club limo at 702-869-0003. (There’s a $15 reservations fee for the limo, waived if you purchase a buy-1-get-1-free drink coupon or bottle–a no-brainer.)

Sapphire’s Final Four Daytime Package Deals

If you’re an NCAA basketball fan, Sapphire is screening the Final Four games today (as well as the NCAA Championship game on Monday).

One of the best deals you’ll ever get in a Vegas strip club is Sapphire’s “Game Day Open Bar” package for the Final Four games that includes complimentary transportation, front of line admission, no cover charge, a VIP table on the main floor, and a 2-hour open bar for $30.

Other packages (for bottles and groups) are available on the Sapphire website (see packages), or call the club at 702-869-0003 to reserve the club limo and the VIP package of your choice.

Sapphire’s gorgeous dancers will be in the club and available for lap dances during and after the games.

Sapphire Comedy Hour

The Sapphire Comedy Hour showcases up-and-coming stand-up comics every Saturday night at 8 pm. Your $20 entry fee gets you into Sapphire’s main room for no extra charge when the comedy show is over. You can also get a $65 VIP ticket to the Comedy Hour, which includes limo transport and admission, plus an open bar from 8 -9:30 pm.

Top working comics (tonight Vince Royale and a “guest comic” TBA) that change weekly plus a classy burlesque dancer (Kalani Kokonuts) and a fine magician (Mon Dre, who is suave and reminiscent of the young Lance Burton) make this a great way to get your wife or girlfriend into a strip club. Expect a lot of risqué humor and off-the-wall banter from the comics as they often use this venue to try out new material, especially over-the-edge stuff that might be strip-club appropriate.

There’s also a dinner option in the Showroom (gourmet Mexican from the El Dorado Cantina) before or during the show. Showroom doors open at 7 pm.

Call 1.702.869.0003 for the club limo–the $15 reservations fee will be waived if you purchase a buy-1-get-1-free drink coupon.

Crazy Horse III After Hours

Crazy Horse III (club review) has an After Hours special tonight (Sat, Apr 2). After 3 am, you get transportation, admission, and a $60 beverage voucher, for $50. DJ C-LA will be the guest DJ.

Live Burlesque in Las Vegas in the Boom Boom Room

“Tops & Tails” is the name of tonight’s show, as some of Vegas’ favorite local girls take off their tops and shake their tails. Hosted by Miss Karla Joy, the featured performers include Lolita Haze, Gigi LeMew, Lily Star, Buttercup Delight, Kitschy Koo, and LaRosa Muerta. See my review of Live Burlesque in Las Vegas.

Boomer’s Bar is located at 3200 W Sirius Ave in Las Vegas. Tickets 8:30 pm, Doors 8:45 pm, Show 9:00 pm. Tickets $15 online here. $20 at the door.

Sunday, April 3

Pussyrama at the Double Down Saloon

On the first Sunday of every month, it’s the Pussyrammers with burlesque queen Kalani Kokonuts at the Double Down Saloon.

Emceed by Miranda Glamour, it’s a weird night of burlesque, comedy, novelty acts, and strange drink concoctions. (Don’t forget to try the Bacon Martini, or, if you’re feeling especially brave, the Ass Juice–both house specialties.) The Double Down Saloon is a locals’ favorite, located at 4640 S Paradise Rd, Las Vegas. No cover. Full bar. 21+

Bikini Bull-Riding at Gilley’s

If you like cheap beer, shit-kickin’ country music, and girls in their underwear, Sunday night is always fun at Gilley’s (inside Treasure Island). The 11 pm Bikini Bull-Riding contest is actually pretty sexy–amateurs, mostly in their skivvies, trying to stay on that mechanical bull to win money. No cover charge. You must be 21+.
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