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A Better Way to Choose a Vegas Strip Club

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If you're looking for information on the best strip clubs in Las Vegas, you just hit the jackpot, Jack. You've found the ultimate Las Vegas guide to girls peeling off their underthings in public.

Las Vegas Topless Clubs, Nude Clubs and More

There are 16 topless gentlemen's clubs in Las Vegas, seven clubs where the girls are on stage fully nude, ten casino shows that feature topless showgirls, bars and nightclubs that feature erotic entertainment, peep shows, swingers' clubs, 10 adults-only topless party pools, and a dozen male revues, including one where the guys dance nude.

We've got strip clubs with such an awesome number of drop-dead gorgeous dancers that the scene rivals the harem of the Sultan of Brunei. We've got strip clubs that offer private VIP rooms where you can close the door and get creative with the dancer of your choice.

We've got high-mileage lap dances, nude bed dances, shower shows, mud and oil wrestling, bikini bull-riding, pretty beaver contests, and Monday night football titty blizzards. We’ve got strip clubs that feature stacked dancers, others that feature big booty, and still others that feature 18-year-olds who can fly around the stripper poles.

We’ve even got high-end legal brothels an hour's drive from Vegas.

As a traveling man, I've been to strip clubs in just about every state in the U.S.—including Alaska and Hawaii—and a lot of other countries as well, and I've never seen another town like this one for strip clubs. The best strip clubs in Las Vegas are some of the best strip clubs in the world.

100% Honest Vegas Strip Club Reviews

At Topless Vegas Online, I cover it all. I give it to you straight and tell you exactly what you can expect. If I like a place, I tell you why. If I don't like a place, I tell you the problem. I list the prices for everything, and whether or not I think they're worth it.

Las Vegas Strip Club Costs, Etiquette, Slang and Local Laws

I also fill you in on how to avoid getting ripped off by the tourist traps, and provide tricks the locals use to have maximum fun at minimum cost. And if you're new to the Vegas strip club scene, you'll find guides to Las Vegas strip club etiquette, tipping advice, slang, and local laws.

How to Get the Most from Topless Vegas Online

If you're not familiar with Vegas strip clubs, start with the articles under "Strip Club Survival Guide" at the left. Once you know whether you're looking for a topless or nude club, or some other adult entertainment, check out the "Best Of's" at the top left.

Once you've narrowed down the clubs or shows that you're most interested in, check out their individual reviews for detailed information, hours, prices, and location. And don't forget to check out the free round-trip limo transport offered by many of the clubs. The clubs give free admission when you arrive at their club by their limo, no strings attached. That can save you $70+ to enjoy the pleasures of the establishment.

Big Parties This Weekend in the Vegas Strip Clubs

Thursday, December 10

Anniversary Bash at Sapphire – Open Bar, Free Food, and Luke Kaufman Tonight

Sapphire Vegas Dancer Bella

Bella is a Sapphire Gem

Tonight, from 7-9 pm, Sapphire (club review / club website) is throwing its 13th Anniversary Party, with hundreds of dancers and an open bar sponsored by Coors Light, Jack Daniels, Don Julio, Jagermeister, Rum Chata, Makers 46, Bonnie Rose, Glenfiddich, Bacardi Oakheart, Blanc de Bleu, Hendrick’s Gin, and Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey. So no matter what you’re drinking, it’s on the house.

And don’t bother to eat dinner before heading over to the club, because Sapphire intends to throw a feed into you with a free all-you-can-eat buffet provided by the Sapphire Grill, El Dorado Cantina, and Zenshin Asian Restaurant.

Country/rap star Luke Kaufman (“I Like the Girls”) will be performing live in the showroom. And the Sapphire Gems will be challenging all comers on the mechanical bull, with prizes for anyone who can beat them.

Sapphire’s admission fee is normally $35, but you can get in for free by calling the club at 1-702-869-0003 to arrange for free limo pickup that includes free admission. (There’s a $15 reservations fee for the limo, waived if you purchase a buy-1-get-1-free drink coupon or bottle–a no-brainer if you’re planning to stay beyond 9 pm when the open bar closes.)

With Sapphire’s package deals (buy online) you get a discount on drink prices, plus free limo transport and admission, a line pass and a reserved VIP table–a real value because seats are hard to come by at peak hours in this club, and it’s hard to get a lap dance if you don’t have an available lap. Need I say age 21+.

Friday, December 11

Palomino Club – Where Naked Means Naked

Palomino Club Las Vegas Dancer

Scarlett Dances at
Palomino Club
Photo by Hew Burney

Your average g-string consists of a 2-inch triangle of cloth held in place by a couple of shoe laces. You could fit the entire garment into the change pocket on your jeans.

But if your opinion of g-strings is anything like mine–they’re just too damn big and bulky and they cover way too much of what we’re most interested in seeing–then Palomino Club (club review / club website) is the strip club for you.

Palomino is the only strip club in Vegas that has a full bar and fully- nude, knockout-beautiful dancers. And these dancers put on the wildest, most acrobatic, erotic stage show in town.

On weekends, you’ll usually find Scarlett–TVO’s September Dancer of the Month–performing on stage and available for more intimate nude dances in the VIP or private theme rooms.

Palomino has a new VIP package deal for out-of-towners who are coming to the club alone. The $60 “Flying Solo” package gets you free round-trip transportation by the club limo, free admission, a line pass and two drinks–or roughly $90 in value.

Palomino’s drink prices (drafts $6, domestics $8) are the best value you’ll find in the major Vegas strip clubs and those prices are good all night every night for locals and out-of-towners alike.

The new upstairs VIP room–called the Lipstick Lounge–is divided into comfortable booths, each one curtained for privacy. High mileage nude private shows in the Lipstick Lounge start at 3 songs/100. (And the VIP room has no extra bar tab or bottle fee–a rare feature for a Vegas strip club.)

Groups of two or more can always get free admission to Palomino (a $30 savings for each member of your party) by calling 1.702.327.7258 for the club’s free limo. Locals who arrive in their own cars are always free, but if you arrive late on a busy night, you may be hit with a tab to cover two drinks up front.

Note: Palomino gets packed on the weekends, so arrange for limo pick-up by 10-10:30 pm–or buy a package at the club website–to make sure both a limo and a good table will be available.

Saturday, December 12

UFC 194 and Dollar Lap Dances at Sapphire

Jose Aldo takes on Conor McGregor for the UFC World Featherweight Championship on Saturday night, December 12. The fight will be live at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, but you can watch it on PPV at Sapphire (club review / club website).

Tickets to see the fight live at MGM run from $400 (behind a pole where you have a better view of the men’s room) to $5400 (where you can see the fight and maybe even get splattered with blood).

Alternatively, tickets to Sapphire’s Showroom–where the fight screens live on three huge 100″ HD monitors–are $20 for locals or $35 for out-of-towners. (These prices assume you drive yourself or arrive in Sapphire’s limo.) Thank you, MGM, for hosting this event, but I think I’ll save five thou and watch it at Sapphire.

Most important, in between the two main fights, right before the main event, Sapphire will have its famous dollar lap dance tsunami to warm you up for the title bout. That means 100+ Sapphire topless dancers swarm into the Showroom doing full-contact topless lap dances for one buck a pop. These are 30-second dances and the dollar dances last for ten minutes, so make sure you have a pocket full of singles ready.

I don’t think the MGM Grand provides lap dancers before the main event, so this is yet another reason to see this fight at Sapphire.

My advice would be to call the club at 702-869-0003 to arrange for free limo transport and discuss package deals (or buy online). If you’re alone, that link offers a special $85 package for the fight that covers admission plus $50 in drinks, and includes free limo transport and a line pass. Sapphire’s Showroom doors open at 6 pm for the preliminary bouts.

Other Vegas Strip Clubs Screening UFC 194

Crazy Horse III (club review) will also be screening the fight. They offer a $50 package that includes limo transport, admission, and a $60 drink voucher. They generally serve free pizza and have beer bucket specials throughout the fight.

Hustler Club (club review)  is advertising the fight though no details are provided on their website or Facebook page. The last time I went there for a UFC fight, there was free pizza.

Deja Vu Showgirls (club review) has no mention of the fight on their website or FB page, but they have traditionally screened all PPV sports events and I expect they’ll screen UFC 194. Always free pizza in the past and drink deals.

Sunday, December 13

Sunday Night Football at Crazy Horse III

If you’re looking for a Sunday Night Football viewing party, check out Crazy Horse III (club review). The pizza’s on the house and mix-and-match buckets of beer (5 beers) are $20. It’s a good party.

Burlesque Roulette at Artifice

This is a monthly show that takes place on the second Saturday of each month at the Artifice Bar downtown. I admit I haven’t seen the show since February, when they were performing at the End (another locals’ joint), but it’s a fun concept for burlesque. (See my review of February’s Burlesque Roulette.)

The first half of the show is a “regular” burlesque revue, with each of six dancers doing a striptease in turn. But for the second half, each dancer spins a wheel and whatever number the pointer lands on determines the song the dancer has to strip to. Some of the songs on the wheel are crazy. I never thought I’d see a striptease to Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land” before Burlesque Roulette came along.

The show starts at 9 pm and admission is $10. Burlesque performances by Jeffrey Xerxes Brice, Penni Piper, Rene Flux, Sugar Rae Bones, and Vi Vacious, with emcee, Miss Miranda Glamour and stage kitten, JP Nomi Malone. The Artifice is located at 1025 First St Suite #100, Las Vegas.

Bikini Bull-Riding at Gilley’s

If you like cheap beer, shit-kickin’ country music, and girls in their underwear, Sunday night is always fun at Gilley’s (inside Treasure Island). The 11 pm Bikini Bull-Riding contest is actually pretty sexy–amateurs, mostly in their skivvies, trying to stay on that mechanical bull to win money. No cover charge. You must be 21+.
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Time to Vote for the 2016 AVN Awards

As Americans, any time we can exercise our right to vote, we should do so. And if you’re a fan of porn, it’s time now to vote for your favorite adult performers. The winners will be announced at the AVN Awards Ceremony on January 23 at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas.

There are 14 different categories, ranging from the traditional Favorite Female and Favorite Male Performers, to the Hottest Milf, Most Spectacular Boobs, Most Epic Ass, and even the Biggest Web Celebrity, Favorite Trans Cam Performer, and Most Amazing Sex Toy. You can see all the categories with pics of all the nominees and vote right now at the AVN Awards website.

You can also purchase tickets to the Awards ceremony at the link above. Prices run from $175 (balcony) to $2,500 (backstage pass). See site for details.

The 2016 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo runs from January 20-23 at the Hard Rock. (See my review of the 2015 event with Hew Burney’s photo gallery at: “AVN Adult Entertainment Expo Photo Diary.”) If you’ve never been to the AEE, it’s a place where adult performers, film studios, and related businesses set up booths, wear very little, hold seminars, meet and greet the public and demonstrate products.

Not only can you talk and take pix with all of your favorite adult stars, but you can see live BDSM demonstrations, take classes from sex stars, meet adult film recruiters, and basically hang out in the carnival of kink atmosphere for hours on end. Tickets for the Adult Entertainment Expo are available from EventBrite.
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UFC 194 This Saturday in the Vegas Strip Clubs

Sapphire Las Vegas Dancer

Mika is a Sapphire Gem

The main reason I choose Sapphire (club review / club website) on UFC fight nights over the other Vegas strip clubs screening the event is the one-dollar lap dance tsunami that takes place right before the main event.

Let’s face it: if you’re going to watch a fight at a strip club, as opposed to a bar, a casino sports book, or your own living room, the reason you’re going to a strip club is the girls. And Sapphire is the only strip club in Vegas that sends 100+ babes into their Showroom for 10 minutes of full-contact $1 topless lap dances as a “warm up” for the main event. (See “The Best Lap Dance in Vegas” that describes the Sapphire dollar dances at their MNF parties.)

You might guess I’d choose Sapphire because of the three 100″ HD screens in the Showroom that are the best sports viewing screens of any strip club in Vegas. Or you might guess it’s the all-you-can-eat buffet ($15 extra) serving up chow that’s more than a cut above the pizza available at most other strip clubs that screen the fights.

But no, for me, it’s the lap dancers. Watching all that violence on the big screen just makes me want to snuggle up to an arbitrary series of nice warm bodies for random and meaningless affection.

The fight should be a good battle, as Jose Aldo takes on Conor McGregor for the UFC World Featherweight Championship this Saturday night, December 12. The fight will be live at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, but you can watch it on PPV at a number of Vegas strip clubs.

The Fight Night Deals

Tickets to Sapphire’s Showroom are $20 for locals or $35 for out-of-towners. (These prices assume you drive yourself or arrive in Sapphire’s limo.) My advice would be to call the club at 702-869-0003 to arrange for free limo transport and discuss package deals (or buy online). If you’re alone, they have a special $85 package for the fight that covers admission plus $50 in drinks, and includes free limo transport and a line pass. Sapphire’s Showroom doors open at 6 pm for the preliminary bouts.  Again, the dollar lap dance tsunami is before the main event.

Crazy Horse III (club review) will also be screening the fight. They offer a $50 package that includes limo transport, admission, and a $60 drink voucher. They generally serve free pizza and have beer bucket specials throughout the fight.

Hustler Club (club review)  is advertising the fight though no details are provided on their website or Facebook page. The last time I went there for a UFC fight, there was free pizza.

Deja Vu Showgirls (club review) has no mention of the fight on their website or FB page, but they have traditionally screened all PPV sports events and I expect they’ll screen UFC 194. Always free pizza in the past and drink deals.
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