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A Better Way to Choose a Vegas Strip Club


If you're looking for information on the best strip clubs in Las Vegas, you just hit the jackpot, Jack. You've found the ultimate Las Vegas guide to girls peeling off their underthings in public.

Las Vegas Topless Clubs, Nude Clubs and More

There are 16 topless gentlemen's clubs in Las Vegas, seven clubs where the girls are on stage fully nude, ten casino shows that feature topless showgirls, bars and nightclubs that feature erotic entertainment, peep shows, swingers' clubs, 10 adults-only topless party pools, and a dozen male revues, including one where the guys dance nude.

We've got strip clubs with such an awesome number of drop-dead gorgeous dancers that the scene rivals the harem of the Sultan of Brunei. We've got strip clubs that offer private VIP rooms where you can close the door and get creative with the dancer of your choice.

We've got high-mileage lap dances, nude bed dances, shower shows, mud and oil wrestling, bikini bull-riding, pretty beaver contests, and Monday night football titty blizzards. We’ve got strip clubs that feature stacked dancers, others that feature big booty, and still others that feature 18-year-olds who can fly around the stripper poles.

We’ve even got high-end legal brothels an hour's drive from Vegas.

As a traveling man, I've been to strip clubs in just about every state in the U.S.—including Alaska and Hawaii—and a lot of other countries as well, and I've never seen another town like this one for strip clubs. The best strip clubs in Las Vegas are some of the best strip clubs in the world.

100% Honest Vegas Strip Club Reviews

At Topless Vegas Online, I cover it all. I give it to you straight and tell you exactly what you can expect. If I like a place, I tell you why. If I don't like a place, I tell you the problem. I list the prices for everything, and whether or not I think they're worth it.

Las Vegas Strip Club Costs, Etiquette, Slang and Local Laws

I also fill you in on how to avoid getting ripped off by the tourist traps, and provide tricks the locals use to have maximum fun at minimum cost. And if you're new to the Vegas strip club scene, you'll find guides to Las Vegas strip club etiquette, tipping advice, slang, and local laws.

How to Get the Most from Topless Vegas Online

If you're not familiar with Vegas strip clubs, start with the articles under "Strip Club Survival Guide" at the left. Once you know whether you're looking for a topless or nude club, or some other adult entertainment, check out the "Best Of's" at the top left.

Once you've narrowed down the clubs or shows that you're most interested in, check out their individual reviews for detailed information, hours, prices, and location. And don't forget to check out the free round-trip limo transport offered by many of the clubs. The clubs give free admission when you arrive at their club by their limo, no strings attached. That can save you $70+ to enjoy the pleasures of the establishment.

Customer Sues Stripper to Get His Money Back

According to Radio Station 97.9 (the Box) in Houston TX, a stripper who performs as “Nomi” is being sued in small claims court by a customer (identified only as “Robert”). He says they had a relationship. She says, “I’ve never heard of a customer suing a stripper … This guy is a nutcase.”

In a later report from a UK website, Robert is quoted as saying the money he gave her was a loan. Nomi is quoted: “I’ve given him gifts, too. How do I get my booty and boobs back.”

I’m taking all bets on Robert losing. I think Nomi’s “nutcase” defense will prove to be the stronger legal position. (Wait, I take that back. I’m not taking all bets. I’m in Vegas for chrissake. I got too many acquaintances who will be calculating the odds and trying to negotiate points. My opinion: Robert’s a nutcase.)



Feminists Shaft Dancers … Again

On May 1, the Mancunian Matters website reported that the OBJECT human rights organization successfully campaigned to have lap-dancing establishments in the UK more strictly regulated by local councils, arguing that such venues are degrading to women because “… women’s bodies are being marketed as commodities and that’s something that I don’t think is in-keeping with a real situation for equality for men and women.”

A Manchester dancer, identified only as “Maria,” disagreed, stating that she believes her job is the epitome of female empowerment as it puts the balance of power in women’s hands. She was quoted: “I feel empowered. I dance for about ten minutes, chat, have a few drinks, dance a little bit more, then get paid much more than any man who did that job would get paid … If any feminist came and did my job for one night, they would know who has the power …”

Sadly, the court sided with OBJECT.



Boobs — Not for Everyday Use

In April, posted an article for CPAs to remind them that strippers may be able to deduct the cost of their boob jobs as “ordinary and necessary” business expenses. The issue was decided 20 years ago (1994) in Federal Tax Court when Indiana dancer Cynthia Hess, who performed under the name “Chesty Love,” argued that her outsized enhanced breasts—size 52 N—were not an asset in her personal life, but only in her profession.

Chesty_LoveThe IRS saw it differently, asserting that in their opinion, her breasts were a nondeductible personal expense, no different from any other trip to the beauty shop for a hairdo or manicure. Hess had deducted the $2,000 surgery bill and when the IRS screamed foul, she went to court. In arguing her case, Hess’s attorney had to convince the federal judge that her tits were “unsuitable for everyday use.” She won her case, though I’m sure a lot of guys would consider her boobs quite suitable for everyday use.

Here’s a pic of Chesty from an appearance she made on the Jerry Springer show. (I think her CPA should have advised her that she could take a bigger deduction if she’d just list her breasts as dependents.)

Palomino Club Las Vegas
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