The Fight Against the Powerful Square Dance Lobby!
In the midst of uncountable budget shortfalls, environmental crises, runaway crime, high unemployment, a burgeoning homeless population and never-ending housing nightmares, it sure is a comfort to know that our courageous elected state officials are debating whether or not square dancing should be recognized as the official Nevada state dance.
Are the lawmakers in Nevada crazy?
Believe it or not, there’s a powerful square dance lobby in this country that does nothing but present bills to state legislators to make square dancing the official state dance everywhere, and in 24 states they’ve already succeeded. Nevada is one of the 22 states with no official state dance. The four states with dances other than the square dance as the official state dance are Hawaii (hula), Wisconsin (polka), and North Carolina and Kentucky (both clogging).
In an editorial at Reno News and Review, Brendan Trainor provides a slew of reasons why square dancing should not be Nevada’s state dance:
… how many square dances are there on a Friday night in Nevada, compared to other forms of dancing? Even Western line dancing is more popular than do-si-do-ing … did Nevada invent square dancing? Hardly … any time of day or night, in many establishments throughout our great state, there are more people—mostly women—pole dancing than square dancing. Perhaps the Legislature should proclaim pole dancing, or its closely related cousin, lap dancing, to be our Nevada State Dance.
Yes! Consider all the reasons why lap dancing would be the perfect official state dance for Nevada:
♦ There are tens of thousands of women in Nevada who make a living from lap dancing. (How many make a living from square dancing? Exactly.)
♦ There are hundreds of thousands of visitors to our state who come here specifically to enjoy our lap dancers. (How many tourists come here specifically to enjoy square dancing? See above.)
♦ Lap dancing is a cornerstone of Nevada’s economy, while square dancing is a hobby for a few old-timers.
♦ 24 other (boring) states already have square dancing as their official state dance. (We’re not like the other guys!)
♦ No other state would have the balls to make lap dancing its official state dance (which is why so many lap dancers from other states fly into Vegas every weekend).
This is not a Republican issue or a Democrat issue. This is an issue that should concern all Nevadans. Square dancing is embarrassing and looks silly. Lap dancing is erotic, fun, and makes life worth living.