My Experience at The Chicken Ranch Brothel
By guest blogger, “Danny ChoDai”
I live in Las Vegas and leave the city for three things … cheap cigarettes on the Piute Reservation, cheap golf in Mesquite, and not so cheap naked action in Pahrump once or twice a month.
I’m a TVO reader and the Editor noticed my frequent “comments” to the reader feedback section. When I told him what my lot in life was, he asked me to write about it. He said his readers love true life accounts of nastier things in life.
LOL … I said, “that’s me brother!”
So get set for a lurid account of cigarettes by the cartoon on I-15, and rounds of golf in the retirement mecca we call Mesquite! Nah, just pulling your leg. I’m really going to take you inside The Chicken Ranch in beautiful Pahrump, NV. Just an hour west of the Las Vegas Strip.
The locals in my adopted hometown describe the ride west on State Highway 160 as, “over the hump, to Pahrump.” Hump refers to the Springs Mountain you climb and descend on the trip to Pahrump. It’s quite a beautiful ride on a sunny day. However, at night, when you’re horny, it seems like a drive through the damn Twilight Zone.
EDITORS NOTE: The Legal Brothels will send a limousine to your hotel for a round trip.
I make this trip often. I’m retired, but not dead. I still work in security after a career as a state trooper in the midwest. I moved to Las Vegas ten years ago for low costs and younger women. I’m divorced because my wife didn’t understand that sex is like golf. I have a home course which I love to play. It’s my first choice, I play it well … but I also enjoy trying a new course once in a while. I’ll always want to play my home course … but variety is part of my life. She didn’t understand this about me!
Legal Brothels are Close to Las Vegas
I started visiting the legal brothels in Pahrump soon after moving to Vegas. The LEO (law enforcement officer) wiring in my brain prefers the fact that Nevada made prostitution legal in 1971. Brothels are legal in six Nevada counties. Nye County, where Pahrump is the county seat, is the closest to Las Vegas. The girls are licensed by the local sheriff, they get checked by a doctor once a week (tested for STDs), and part of my cash goes to fund the transparent local government that runs the city and county.
I’ve used Sheri’s Ranch, the Alien Cat House, Desert Rose and a sentimental favorite, Mona’s Ranch.
My choice of The Chicken Ranch this week was driven by one key factor … “Franny” was in from Florida this weekend. Franny is not her real name, it’s not even her ‘stage name.” If you want to know her stage name … send a note in the comment section to TVO. They’ll get you set up. I didn’t use her real name because she has changed brothels and she tells me it gets ‘complicated.’ I say, ‘save your drama for your momma!’
The Chicken Ranch is at the deadest end of dead-ends you’ve ever seen in your life. Homestead Road is a sun baked two-lane that literally stops at the edge of Sheri’s Ranch. Beyond the rickety sign and barbed wire fence is scruffy desert, tumbleweed, scrawny Joshua trees, land that looks like salt flats and Mountains that are in the state of California. It makes you say to yourself, ‘Fuck It … I’m going no further!’
Luckily, ‘no further,’ leaves you to choose between the gaudy wood framed mansion that is The Chicken Ranch, or the gleaming frame house that fronts Sheri’s Ranch. Because Franny is here … I’m going to The Chicken Ranch.
When I first went to Pahrump the houses were trailers parked in a semi-circle. They had made great improvements over the years I first visited Las Vegas on vacations. The Chicken Ranch now was bordered by a white picket fence, and a series of funny signs makes sure you are 21+ and in the right place. The timid or curious are in luck. Both brothels have their own sports bars with TV and pool tables. If you want to kick the tires, you can always belly up to the bar like you were just passing through. But be aware, because this is the deadest of the dead-end streets in North America they kind of know you’re not a traveler ‘driving by.’ The good thing is they are about the friendliest hosts you’ll ever meet!
Make a Reservation at a Brothel in Nevada
I’ve booked my time in advance. I’m told this is what the house strongly prefers, and they will appreciate the reservation. A big benefit for me is it helps me avoid ‘the lineup.’ This is where all available ‘courtesans’ are
brought before you for you to make your choice. Maybe I’d be OK with it if it was set up like a precinct house lineup … with a two-way mirror. I just don’t like being the person rejecting the other beautiful girls. All of those girls are simply trying to pay their bills. I wouldn’t like that kind of rejection, and I don’t like being the one causing that bad feeling in others.
When I got there Franny was ‘still busy.’ Now this is awkward!
If Stone Cold Steve Austin walks out with her … I’m feeling like a fucking lizard bro!
Nevada Brothel Maps
I cooled my jets and ordered a Modelo Especial. On one TV they had a baseball game on. Bad karma, we used to tell each other when you wanted to delay your orgasm, ‘think about baseball.’ I laughed to myself because I didn’t drive an hour from Las Vegas for a three-minute date. The other TV played glamour shots of the girls working that week. It included their names, so you have a head start if you are still in a shopping mode.
I killed time by checking out the hundreds of pieces of ‘brothel memorabilia’ that the house had on the wall in the spacious lounge. My favorite was an old west looking map that showed “The Brothels of Nevada.’ It looked like that Ponderosa map they used in Bonanza.
Here’s a tip for newcomers. If you like to be seduced and enjoy flirting, hold your cards for a while. Order a $7 beer and let the action come to you. Buy a few drinks for the ladies, get to know them. In Sheri’s Ranch the bar is dark, and it takes a while to adjust your eyes to the lighting. In The Chicken Ranch the lighting is bright, so be ready make eye contact immediately upon entering.
The female bartender is friendly and direct. “Are you here for a date, hon?” she asks. She’s new and doesn’t recognize me as a regular. A busy manager had checked my ID at the door. I told her I’m here to see “Franny” … so the bartender’s question puts me off. I wonder if management has changed since my last visit four months ago.
Couples Welcome in a Nevada Brothel
There we two solo guys in the lounge, and a couple about my age. The guys were in their 30’s and had struck up a conversation. I could tell they were plotting the negotiations. For those who never visited a Nevada Brothel, the house is paid its fee, and the girls fee is not discussed until you enter her private room. She’s an independent contractor. Don’t even try to get around this pricing system. It works. In fact, if you can’t strike a deal with the girl in private, back off and start again. The house doesn’t double charge you. You go back to picking. This hasn’t happened to me, but I have to believe if you come out of the room as a ‘no deal’ you immediately get pegged by the others as a “cheapskate.” This might be to your advantage. I believe the best looking, top earners write you off, and you are now shopping among the bargain entertainers. It’s a strategy to consider if you have a thin wallet.
The couple make nervous small talk with the bartender. The wife glances at me with contempt occasionally. I speculate she’s embarred to be here. Little does she know that all three guys are looking at her as a great wife! If my ex-wife had her spirit of adventure she’d still be “Mrs. Cheap Cigarettes, Golf and Hookers!”
My best greeting of the night is when Franny comes into the lounge. She’s in a tight blue dress that looks awesome with her straight blonde hair. There’s not a Stone-Cold Steve Austin in sight, and all 5’4″ of her comes up and gives me a big kiss on the lips. It’s my experience that 75% of the girls don’t kiss on the lips. Franny makes me feel special by being in the 25% group of kissers. I don’t know where her lips have been lately, but I don’t care. I’ll have a shot of Patron and hope that kills anything that neither of us wants to catch.
After five minutes of small talk she takes me to her room. I compliment it like any good guest who’s been raised well. The girls stay and work in a room they rent for their two-to-three-week rotation. They personalize it to a small degree and treat it like home. Franny’s is a light pink room with a queen size bed and one night table. She has a basin sink, a small bathroom and a window with the shades drawn.
She Works Hard for the Money
She makes me comfortable with small talk before turning to business. I did remember that she has an interesting back story. She works in a florist in Florida and manages to take 4-5 extended breaks a year. She makes enough money to make these two-week breaks pay for more car and condo than her family can understand. She tells them she’s frugal and invests well! She’s been doing this for 12 years! And sees herself giving it up in 4-5 years, when she’s forty-five.
Negotiating the Price at The Chicken Ranch
The first time I ‘dated’ Franny the negotiation had tension. In my experience most girls are full of nervous energy and start the negotiations by asking what you want. Once you tell them they are trained to go to the top of the price list and see what your tolerance is. I’m sure too many guys overpay at this point.
“I charge by the activity. I like to do blow jobs, massages, doggy style… almost anything. If you want to stay all night long it will be $7,000.” I laughed and she countered with if you want to spend an hour and a half and have a ‘girlfriend experience,’ it will be $2,500.”
I told her, “My budget is $1,000.”
The first time I negotiated with her she accepted $1000 as the price for a 45 minute ‘date.’
That first time with her was a great experience. She blew me and switched to straight sex. We did it in several positions and she did most of the work. She had me wear a condom but we French kissed like high school kids. The first experience brough me back for more. I gave her an additional $200 tip for a total of $1,200.
It’s true that the first deal you make sets the bar for all the deals that follow. Being my 2nd date with Franny I’m curious to see if she plans on resetting ‘the bar.’ Instead, she laughs and says … “it’s still about $7,500 to stay the night cowboy!”
I’m relieved she’s still working off the same price list. I tell her that I’ve only got a grand in my pocket, and maybe a few C notes hidden in the back. She tells me that will work and said to get undressed. She left the room briefly, taking my cash with her. Soon she was back, and she stripped down to her birthday suit. For forty, she was firm and had great skin. She invites me to come over to the side table; under the lamp light she inspects my cock. I joke that the cooties I had last spring are gone.
She says to me, “I can tell.” Then she takes my cock in her mouth, without a condom, and gives it a big lick and a few sucks.
“This makes it easier to put on the condom,” she says without looking up. She strokes me a few more times to get the blood flowing, then goes down on me again without a condom.
Is This How You Like It Baby?
“You like that baby?” she asks.
I didn’t answer, I just grabbed her head and gently put her mouth back on me.
When I was erect, she spun me around and pushed me onto my back, on her bed. Nimbly she climbed on the foot of the bed and gave me an awesome blow job. She shifted to a position between my legs and tickled my balls skillfully while sucking my cock.
She tickled my butt with two fingers and moaned like a she was getting fucked from behind.
She knew how to raise and lower my sexual tension. After about 5 minutes of this she asked if I wanted to 69. I eagerly said ‘fuckin’ aye!’ and did my best to spin her on top of me. I know a lot of guys say it’s disgusting to eat out a hooker, but that’s bullshit. We love every inch and every ounce of a hot girl. Any guy that says otherwise ids a liar, queer or sleeping with disgusting girls. Me… I enjoy the taste. Sue me!
She was soaking wet. Franny made every sound and motion to make me believe she was enjoying it. That’s enough for me.
After a few minutes of oral she said, “Wanna fuck baby?”
I didn’t argue with her.
She went right to doggie style. Remarkably, the mattresses are set at just the right height for an average man to use his legs from the tiled floor. Her ass looked perfect with my dick sliding in and out. Even the stupid red condom looked cool. It desensitized me enough to keep going. Baseball! Baseball! I hate Baseball!
She knew I had beat my own over/under of 12-15 minutes. She pulled me out and laid on her side. She offered up her ass again in an L-Shaped with her legs going down the length of the bed. I re-entered easily and resumed poking her from behind. It struck me at that moment that I wonder if the girls ever get self-conscious if you take too long? Are they thinking, “Am I not sexy enough for him to cum?”
LOL – It’s about the time, not the activity. Everything is time. Franny had invested at least 30 minutes in me. If I count a shower and make-up, it might be closer to an hour. I better get this show on the road Danny Boy!
I took the initiative to pull out and shift her onto her back. She seemed surprised that I was i charge. I grabbed her knees and starting back into rocking her. She grabbed her breasts and pinched her nipples. She slipped her tongue out and said, “Fuck me harder baby!”
Seeing her pierced tongue and hearing her repeat, “Fuck me baby!” was all I needed to explode.
Franny encouraged the joy.
Toys for Boys and Girls
Not wanting the date to end, I asked her if she had a vibrator. I told her I’d really love to make her cum too. She winked at me and jumped out of the bed. She opened her draw and took out a sleek, shiny vibrator, and a big cordless wand. “I hope they have a charge baby. Let’s try this one.”
She licked the end of the shiny one and jumped back into bed. She threw a leg over my head so that I had a close view of her pussy. She was on her back with her feet on each side of my head. I had a perfect view as she pulled her pink lips apart and fingered her clit. She moaned with approval when I stroked her with my freshly licked fingertips.
The humming stick was moving side to side on the top of her pussy. I stroked the sides up and down as she worked her button with the shiny vibrator. It took less than two minutes for her to cum with a trickle of female juice. It was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
We laid there another minute before we stirred in the direction of clothes and a shower. I would have bought another half hour of rest and shower time if I had the cash.
I fished out every cent I had left, which meant a $400 tip on top of the thousand dollars. I told her that having empty pockets in a brothel or strip club is a liberating feeling. No cash, no checks, no credit cards. Nothing.
I’ll follow Franny to wherever she shows up next!
[For more information on Vegas brothels, escorts, freelance prostitutes and massage parlors, see our brothels and escorts page.]
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Do Chicken Ranch and Sheri’s have a house minimum, for something like a massage or handjob when it’s a slow weekday morning etc? I know on Sheri’s ‘menu’ they list massage with happy ending and mutual massage with happy ending. What about tipping if you use the driver? Who else might you tip?
I’m not sure on a house minimum, my understanding is you can negotiate with the girls but many have their own hard set minimum. Perhaps someone else can answer that part Better, but as for tipping only other person I remember tipping was the bartender, when I had a drink while picking my girl. It’s been a number of years but basically bartender and limo driver that’s all I tipped
Pricing is a dicey thing. Because they are independent contractors, the house can’t set prices. There is a minimum charge for the room, but any services in that room are negotiated behind the closed door. No exceptions.
I’m sure a girl might go low if business is slow, and the time is minimal. That said, my guess is an all in BJ or hand job, done in 15 minutes is going to run you about $500 for her and the house.
As for tipping … there’s the bartender, and the limo driver. Each way is an hour, I think $100 or more is fair.
I asked the Madam at one of the Brothels for her thoughts. I’ll update you if I get them.
Did you ever get any feedback on house minimum? Also, is there a ‘house fee’? The author of this post had a sentence where it seemed like the house received a fee when you enter and mentioned no double dipping if you don’t reach a deal with the first girl you negotiate with. Lastly, I am guessing there are more girls at the ranch than those listed on the website – those that don’t want to put up any pictures. How many, if that is true? How many come out for a lineup?
Yes… the house gets several hundred off the top for each hour. The girl gets the balance. The lineup is usually 6-10 girls.