This Weekend in the Vegas Strip Clubs

Friday, December 18

Palomino Club – Where a Man Gets What a Man Wants Most

Palomino Club Las Vegas Dancer Bethany

Bethany Dances at
Palomino Club
Photo by Hew Burney

A recent survey of American men found that when asked to rank what they find most beautiful to look at when relaxing with an adult beverage, 86% ranked the vagina #1, followed by ocean sunsets (3%), the Grand Canyon (2%), and flower gardens (1%).

So, why is it that Palomino Club (club review / club website) is the only strip club in Vegas where a man can relax with a drink while gazing at the single most beautiful sight on the planet? It’s because everywhere else in Vegas there’s a law against looking at pussy while you’re enjoying a beer.

What this strange legal situation has resulted in is that the dancers in Vegas with the most beautiful pussies have all gravitated to Palomino Club. And these dancers put on the wildest, most acrobatic, erotic stage show in town.

Then again, if you’re among the segment of men who prefer flower gardens to the full flower of womanhood, I’ll see you at Plants ‘R’ Us next time I’m shopping for medical marijuana fertilizer.

Palomino has a new VIP package deal for out-of-towners who are coming to the club alone. The $60 “Flying Solo” package gets you free round-trip transportation by the club limo, free admission, a line pass and two drinks–or roughly $90 in value.

Palomino’s drink prices (drafts $6, domestics $8) are the best value you’ll find in the major Vegas strip clubs and those prices are good all night every night for locals and out-of-towners alike.

The new upstairs VIP room–the Lipstick Lounge–is divided into comfortable booths, each one curtained for privacy. High mileage nude private shows in the Lipstick Lounge start at 3 songs/100. (And the VIP room has no extra bar tab or bottle fee–a rare feature for a Vegas strip club.)

Groups of two or more can always get free admission to Palomino (a $30 savings for each member of your party) by calling 1.702.327.7258 for the club’s free limo. Locals who arrive in their own cars are always free, but if you arrive late on a busy night, you may be hit with a tab to cover two drinks up front.

Note: Palomino gets packed on the weekends, so arrange for limo pick-up by 10-10:30 pm–or buy a package at the club website–to make sure both a limo and a good table will be available.

Saturday, December 19

Sapphire – 400 Dancers, 800 Reasons to Come Here

Sapphire Dancer<br/>from Sapphire's Facebook Page

Sapphire Dancer
from Sapphire’s Facebook Page

Selection, Selection, Selection . . .

Sapphire (club review / club website) on a Saturday night is a life event you should have on your bucket list. Even though I often find myself at Sapphire on a Saturday night, I keep forgetting to take it off my bucket list and I find myself there again and again.

Have you ever seen 400 gorgeous topless girls gathered together in one place, all acting like sex objects? Sapphire’s dancers have sex-objecthood down to an art form. Bring money. You will have fun.

Sapphire’s admission fee is normally $35 for out-of-towners, but you can get in for free by calling the club at 1-702-869-0003 to arrange for free limo pickup that includes free admission. (There’s a $15 reservations fee for the limo, waived if you purchase a buy-1-get-1-free drink coupon or bottle–a no-brainer.)

With Sapphire’s package deals (buy online) you get a discount on drink prices, plus free limo transport and admission, a line pass and a reserved VIP table–a real value because seats are hard to come by at peak hours in this club, and it’s hard to get a lap dance if you don’t have an available lap.

If you’re alone, the VIP65 package gets you a reserved table and provides twice the bang for your buck (see my $ analysis in the club review–link above), all expenses considered.

Sapphire Comedy Hour

The Sapphire Comedy Hour is a showcase of stand-up comics that takes place every Saturday night at 8 pm. There’s a separate $20 admission for the show, but your entry fee gets you into Sapphire (the gentlemen’s club) for no extra charge when the comedy show is over. Compared to most of the comedy shows in casino showrooms–where prices range from $50-$100–this is also a cheap date (a rarity in Vegas). (You can also get a $65 VIP ticket to the Comedy Hour, which includes an open bar from 8 -9:30 pm.)

Top working comics that change weekly plus a classy burlesque dancer (Kalani Kokonuts) and a very slick magician (Mon Dre) who does the kind of elegant, graceful miracles that women go gaga for, make this show a pretty sneaky way to get your significant other into a strip club. Expect a lot of risqué humor and off-the-wall banter from the comics as they often use this venue to try out new material, especially stuff that might be strip-club appropriate.

There’s also a dinner option in the Showroom (gourmet Mexican–organic, non-GMO–from the El Dorado Cantina) before or during the show (Showroom doors open 7 pm). Or you can get the “open bar” package for $65, that includes your limo transport and admission.

Call 1.702.869.0003 for the club limo–the $15 reservations fee will be waived if you purchase a buy-1-get-1-free drink coupon.

At the Erotic Heritage Museum – Bondage Fun

On Saturday, Dec 19, from 4-7 pm, Harry Mohney’s Erotic Heritage Museum hosts the “Rope Social.” This group is best described by pics on theRope Social website. If you want to tie someone up, be tied up, or watch other people tie people up, come here. And bring rope. If you’re a beginner, bring string.

Nudity is allowed. Bring drinks and snacks. No alcohol. 18+. The Rope Social takes place in an open-to-the-public area of the museum, so museum goers on that afternoon will be in for a treat–live bondage exhibitions on the museum floor. You will not be charged an entry fee into the Museum if you are attending the rope social. There’s no charge for the social, but donations are encouraged and appreciated to help cover costs. See the Rope Social website (link above) for full details, rules, etc.

Nerdlesque Interprets Tim Burton

On Saturday night, December 19, Nerdlesque, which is exactly what it sounds like, is doing a Tim Burton-inspired burlesque show at the Artifice. Will we see Beetlejuice being undressed by Edward Scissorhands? That sounds too gory for Christmas. How about a striptease by Alice in Wonderland or the Corpse Bride? I have no idea what to expect from this show except that costumes will be coming off. That’s the only dependable given these days in burlesque shows. The Artifice is located at 1025 First St Suite #100, Las Vegas. Tickets are $10 at the door. Full bar. 21+

Sunday, December 20

Sunday Night Football at Crazy Horse III

If you’re looking for a Sunday Night Football viewing party, check out Crazy Horse III (club review). The pizza’s on the house and mix-and-match buckets of beer (5 beers) are $20. It’s a good party. Also tonight, Crazy Horse III has an open bar sponsored by Kinky Blue Liqueur.

Bikini Bull-Riding at Gilley’s

If you like cheap beer, shit-kickin’ country music, and girls in their underwear, Sunday night is always fun at Gilley’s (inside Treasure Island). The 11 pm Bikini Bull-Riding contest is actually pretty sexy–amateurs, mostly in their skivvies, trying to stay on that mechanical bull to win money. No cover charge. You must be 21+.
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