If You Like Boobs, You’ll Love Vegas
At the top of each club review you’ll find the three most important ratings: Club Rating, Grade of Dancer, and SPW. To understand these ratings and exactly how I arrived at them, read my Guide to Strip Club Ratings first. As a quick refresher, Club Ratings A, B, and C mean, respectively: good every night, good on the weekends, and, essentially, good luck. The Grade of Dancer is pretty self-explanatory. The SPW is the Statistical Probability of Wood. The complex mathematical formula used to determine this number is also explained in the Guide to Strip Club Ratings.
Vegas Topless Clubs are About Lap Dances
The first thing you should know about the topless clubs in Las Vegas is that the dancers’ primary way of making money is not dancing on the stage. Stage tips are often meager and the dancers have to pay the clubs a “stage fee” just to work there. They make their money before and after dancing on stage by selling lap dances and VIP room shows.
So if you’re going to a Vegas topless club for the evening, you should be thinking in terms of enjoying lap dances and/or VIP shows. But if you’re going to be investing in a lap dance, you want to be discerning about the likely quality of the dance you’ll be getting.
At some clubs, lap dances are basically “air dances,” meaning you’ll have little to no contact with the dancer. At other clubs, the dancing is more intimate (or high mileage, meaning high contact, with touching allowed). High mileage clubs are identified in my reviews, or check out our page Where to Get High Mileage in Vegas.
A high-mileage Vegas gentlemen’s club like Sapphire (club review / club website) is an in-your-face, in-your-hands, in-your lap lap dance orgy. And the club features 400+ dancers at peak hours.
Also, you’d think that the dancers in topless clubs would all be expert lap dancers, but even in the Vegas high mileage clubs it just ain’t so. Take your time and be selective. Lap-dancing is an evolving art form. Some dancers are good at it, some are great, and some just don’t get it. The best lap dancers are the ones who treat it like a sensual art form and put their hearts into it.
Some dancers are pretty cynical about lap dancing. I once referred to lap dancing as an art form in a conversation with a dancer in San Francisco and she said, “An art form? You think humping guys off is an art form?” She made me laugh, but of course it’s an art form. It’s the creation of a fantasy for an audience of one. It’s an art form I happen to appreciate.
Not All Vegas Topless Clubs Are Created Equal
The amenities, shows, prices and dancer quality vary widely from club to club in Vegas.
For example, high-mileage Deja Vu Showgirls (club review/ club website) is featuring an open bar (domestics and wells) seven days a week right now from 6 pm to 10 pm. Plus, if you arrive by the free club limo, you get free admission and another free drink after the open bar closes. Deja Vu also offers VIP private-room dances (your choice of couch or full-size bed) at only $150 for 15 minutes, or the same as other Vegas strip clubs charge for 10 minutes in the group VIP.
Meanwhile, the price of a domestic beer at Centerfolds, a struggling club with few dancers, is now $18.
So read the body of each review to get the inside scoop on prices, amenities and special events, as well as first-hand accounts and descriptions.
You must be 21 to enter any topless club in Las Vegas, as all of these clubs serve alcoholic beverages.
Go to: The Topless Clubs