What to Wear for a Lap Dance — The Great Debate

I was sitting with a dancer at a Vegas strip club having a beer when another dancer approached.

I heard her say to the dancer I’d been talking with, “That guy over there in the pink shirt is a creep.”

The dancer I’d been chatting with glanced toward the guy and said, “He can’t be that creepy. He’s wearing jeans.”

I knew what they were talking about because over the years, I’ve heard quite a few dancers say similar things. And I’m sure if any other dancers had overheard the comment they too would have known exactly what was meant by he-can’t-be-that-creepy-he’s-wearing-jeans.

But I suspect many customers of strip clubs would be clueless about what that could possibly mean.

That’s why I’m here, guys. To set you straight.

Let’s say you show up at a Vegas strip club wearing your string-tied knee-length jogging shorts. As soon as you walk in, every dancer who sees you will think you’re a creep. I realize it may be different in Tampa or Detroit, but none of the dancers in a major Vegas strip club are going to think you just stopped in for a quick beer on your way to the gym in your nylon pedal-pushers. They’re going to think you specifically put on your dick-rub pants to come to the club on the hunt for a hot body to rub up against. Which you did.

But isn’t that what every guy getting a lap dance is doing?

No. Most guys see lap dances as performances, the same as stage dancing, but extra close and sometimes with touching allowed. The dancer is doing the performance. You’re witnessing and appreciating it. So far, so good. But when you wear your cotton track suit, commando style, you’re sticking your dick into the middle of the performance.

There’s a big Internet controversy about this right now. A lot of the men’s-interest sites are advising men on which types of pantaloons provide the most rub for the buck. But if you read the stripper sites, you’ll find that dancers find guys who come into a strip club in these types of pants to be “icky” (to quote more than one dancer on the subject).

What Men Say about the Best Lap Dance Pants

hardcore regularI wrote a review of Liquid Lapdance pants last month, and the Liquid Lapdance site is a big proponent of the jack-off-on-a-dancer’s-ass school of thought. On their blog, they have a post about the ten best types of pants to wear for a lap dance. Here’s their top choice (right), a style of pants they label the “Hardcore Regular.”

Over on the forum at bodybuilding.com, the discussion turned to the best type of pants a guy should wear to a strip club, and a piece of advice from one participant in the debate said: “I would imagine freeballing with sweatpants would be your best bet.”

And over on tuscl.net, a conversation on the same topic had this contribution to the subject: “I like having something that can hold my hard dick upright under the waistband as I don’t like wearing a belt. The other upside to this is that as I get harder, the tip of my cock tends to poke out above the waistline – a nice surprise for the interested stripper.”

Right, buddy. I’ll bet she’s thrilled.

Some of the discussion on these men’s sites centers around having an orgasm during a lap dance and which kinds of pants are optimal to facilitate this. Now I see why Liquid Lapdance pants were invented! There really are guys out there who go to strip clubs not just for fantasy, but for actual sexual fulfillment. And many of them think this is what strip clubs are for.

What Dancers Say About Lap Dance Jerk-Offs

On the dancer forums, the dancers seem to have a different perspective on this issue. Here’s a comment on the topic from Jezebel.com:

Here is a little insider fact, from a real life stripper: If we can tell that a guy is enjoying his lap dance a little “too much”, most of us back the fuck off and continue the dance from a farther distance. Making guys cum in their pants is not our job, and most of us find the idea of it utterly repulsive.

And from a blog post at riverfronttimes.com, an article titled: “13 Reasons Your Exotic Dancer Hates You,” reason #9 is:

9. Stop wearing Adidas warm-up pants to the club. I don’t care if it feels more real because they’re thinner than jeans. It’s just creepy.

Over on Jezebel again, a guy asked if it was common for men to orgasm during lap dances and wanted to know if it was against strip club rules for a guy to do that. The dancer’s answer:

“It very rarely happens. Not technically against the rules. HOWEVER. We WILL go tell EVERY other dancer. And probably notify the bouncers. And probably never give you a dance again. It becomes problematic when customers begin to equate simple lap dances with actual sex.” (CAPS hers)

So What’s a Horny Guy Supposed to Do?

One of the consistent arguments men make in these discussions is:  What do you expect a guy to do if you’re humping on his dick with your tits in his face?

Look, guys, if your libido is so tightly wound that you can’t get a lap dance without involuntarily coming in your pants, you need to start jacking off more.

Pro Tip: Before you go to the strip club, masturbate at home. Then you can enjoy the dancers for the artists they are.

I should point out here that I’m not opposed to prostitution, which I believe should be decriminalized, as most of the laws against it are simply designed to harass women and keep them in their place. I support sex workers’ rights and I find slut-shaming to be morally repugnant. We live in a society where teenage girls are committing suicide for being slut-shamed for doing things teenage boys are bragging about.

I’m also aware of the fact that dancers in some clubs are prostitutes and that some clubs encourage dancers to sell sex. If you patronize clubs like that then feel free to wear your satin basketball shorts with no underwear.

But most strip clubs are not like this and most dancers are not like this, especially in Las Vegas where so many of the dancers in our strip clubs are professionally-trained dancers. Show some respect. For the dancers and for yourself. Do you really want to walk into a strip club and have all the dancers start talking among themselves about the creep who just arrived?

Maybe you have no special person in your life right now for affection and sex. I’ve been there. The affection of dancers in a strip club could be the only thing that keeps you from sitting out in your garage with the engine running.

Dancers are beautiful, charming, and sexy. They’ve got flirting down to such an art form you can sit and talk with them about nothing for hours. But no matter how lonely or horny you are, don’t go into a strip club to jack off unless you’ve got specific permission from a dancer to do that with her.  When I wore Liquid Lapdance pants to a club to write a review of the product, I didn’t expect them to actually work.

So What Should You Wear for a Lap Dance?

Depending on the club’s dress code (if they have one), just wear your regular jeans or cargo shorts or trousers or anything but pants that will make you look like Mr. Hardcore Regular. In Vegas, some clubs disallow tank tops, baggy pants, bandanas, and gang wear. For the dancer’s comfort, remove keys and other sharp objects from your front pockets and don’t wear a belt buckle with sharp edges.

You may also be interested in:

Where to Go for High Mileage in Vegas

Best Lap Dance in Vegas

How to Sit for a Lap Dance

What to Do With Your Hands During a Lap Dance
EndGirl0

27 Responses to “What to Wear for a Lap Dance — The Great Debate”

  1. Cheo D.

    You make an important point with the “especially in Las Vegas” bit. Standards vary and what’s usual for Detroit, is not for Vegas (Plus of course you got the tourists who are under the misimpression of what is and isn’t legal there).

    Reply
  2. jj solari

    dear anonymous; who the hell gives a rat’s ass about an anonymous opinion. why would anyone pay attention to anything anyone said who is afraid to reveal the identity behind the opinion? why would anyone think anything you are saying is even remotely true? if your opinion was so brilliant wouldnt you want to be identified? you would if you were not yanking everyone’s lanyard with your nonsense. anonymous remarks on the internet are the lazy man’s equivalent of arson. at least the arsonist has the energy to get out of bed and leave the house. you on the other hand just sit in your filthy bathrobe probably at a computer in the library, sitting there with your dick hanging out and anonymously pontificating about how stupid you are. i mean about how smart you are. cause reading your anonymous comment i can see that you are at the neils bohr level of genius.

    Reply
  3. jj solari

    dear kevin; thanks for the description of the trousers you wear to ejaculate your high-grade, much-in-demand semen into your pants. i’m not going to say it was creepy or anything, ya know?……but it was creepy. I lied when said i wasnt going to say that it was creepy. guys like you make me thank the lord awmighty that i’m not a woman who has to make a living doing lap dances. there’s a reason you get a lot of air dances. strippers eventually get creepdar.

    Reply
    • Arnold Snyder

      I deleted posts from a creep, but I’m leaving up JJ’s responses to the creep because I agree with JJ, and I hope they’ll serve as a warning to creeps.

      TVO is not a free speech forum for creeps to publish obnoxious opinions about women. If anyone has anything interesting to say or a question to ask, fine. But I have a zero tolerance policy for anyone who, in my opinion, is disrespecting women, dancers or sex workers of any type.

      Reply
  4. Arnold Snyder

    Kevin’s posts must all go through moderation for now. To avoid disrupting that setting, I’m posting his most recent comment for him.

    Here’s Kevin: “For the record, I don’t disrespect the dancers. They know what my intentions are before the dance even starts [moderator’s note: Kevin here is referring to his intention to orgasm during his lap dance]. The ones who are up for it, performs [moderator’s note: Kevin’s grammar]. The ones who aren’t, keeps walking [moderator’s note: Kevin’s grammar]. Don’t be mad at me because you’re too much of a little boy to take control.”

    Snyder: First off, Kevin, if you’re going to comment on an article, please read the whole article. You seem to have missed these paragraphs:

    I should point out here that I’m not opposed to prostitution, which I believe should be decriminalized, as most of the laws against it are simply designed to harass women and keep them in their place. I support sex workers’ rights and I find slut-shaming to be morally repugnant. We live in a society where teenage girls are committing suicide for being slut-shamed for doing things teenage boys are bragging about.

    I’m also aware of the fact that dancers in some clubs are prostitutes and that some clubs encourage dancers to sell sex. If you patronize clubs like that then feel free to wear your satin basketball shorts with no underwear.

    But most strip clubs are not like this and most dancers are not like this, especially in Las Vegas where so many of the dancers in our strip clubs are professionally-trained dancers. Show some respect. For the dancers and for yourself.

    You seem to be of the opinion that all dancers in all strip clubs should be there for the sole purpose of jerking you off, just because there are dancers in the clubs you go to who do this. But erotic dance is an art form in and of itself and most men who patronize strip clubs appreciate the art form without having to come in their pants.

    In Las Vegas we’ve got hundreds of massage parlors and escort services and thousands of women who come here from all parts of the world hanging around the casino bars and nightclubs looking to get laid in the city where what happens here stays here. And we’ve got legal brothels an hour’s drive away. Las Vegas may be the easiest place in the world to get laid. Just don’t expect our strip clubs to be whorehouses.

    Your attitude towards dancers who have no desire to jerk you off is disrespectful whether you think so or not. Your belief that this is the only thing dancers are good for shows you are completely ignorant of dance as an art form.

    Reply
  5. Winter Sport

    I’ve always had dancers tell me not to wear jeans because they are rough on them when they are giving dances and can rub them in a way that can hurt them. I usually recommend something akin to suit pants. They seem to be best for both parties.

    Every stripper I have had except for the random rare one will voluntarily start grinding me hard if I get hard. I don’t ask them to, but I am thankful because it feels awesome. No, I have never got off in my pants from this, but it does feel good.

    Reply
  6. Mr. X

    What about shoes? I’ll be heading to Vegas in July and I intend to wear closed toed sandals with my cargo shorts? Is this acceptable?

    Reply
  7. Sean

    “No. Most guys see lap dances as performances”

    Um, I just don’t agree with this and it sounds like the writing of a woman. It does not sound like an honest man’s perspective. I wouldn’t wear thin material pants in a strip club because it is rude and i know the women don’t like it, not because I have some silly fantasy that I am just there for the artistic appreciation of the women. It is a strip club and it is sexual, we are there to view women and their bodies. We get lap dances for a small amount of sexual entertainment and for NO other reason.

    To pretend that the customers at a strip club have no sexual thoughts is just silly and childish. Strippers that brainwash themselves into thinking that their job is not sexual need to come to terms with reality.

    Reply
    • Arnold Snyder

      Sean, you’re being dense. Erotic entertainment is an art on as high a level as any other form of art.

      Sex is not dirty, and sexual stimulation isn’t dirty.

      The ability of a dancer to stimulate you erotically is as valuable and takes as much artistic ability as the ability of a great painter or musician to lift your spirits.

      Lap dances are an art, and the women who perform them well are artists. Period.

      Reply
      • Max Sedenka

        >>>The ability of a dancer to stimulate you erotically is as valuable and takes as much artistic ability as the ability of a great painter or musician to lift your spirits.<<<

        That is literally one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read on the internet in all of my many years on the internet. It's so ridiculous that I can only conclude that you're being sarcastic.

        Reply
      • Jason sock

        Yeah Thats ridiculous your trying to compare art work with the lowest level of consciousness. The lowest chakras with the highest do your research my love ? your comparing chakra 2 with chakra 7 LMFAO!!!!! 1. Root Chakra — Represents our foundation and feeling of being grounded.

        Location: Base of spine in tailbone area.
        Emotional issues: Survival issues such as financial independence, money and food.
        More on Root Chakra healing
        2. Sacral Chakra — Our connection and ability to accept others and new experiences.

        Location: Lower abdomen, about two inches below the navel and two inches in.
        Emotional issues: Sense of abundance, well-being, pleasure and sexuality.
        More on Sacral Chakra healing
        3. Solar Plexus Chakra — Our ability to be confident and in control of our lives.

        Location: Upper abdomen in the stomach area.
        Emotional issues: Self-worth, self-confidence and self-esteem.
        More on Solar Plexus Chakra healing
        4. Heart Chakra — Our ability to love.

        Location: Center of chest just above the heart.
        Emotional issues: Love, joy and inner peace.
        More on Heart Chakra healing
        5. Throat Chakra — Our ability to communicate.

        Location: Throat.
        Emotional issues: Communication, self-expression of feelings and the truth.
        More on Throat Chakra healing
        6. Third Eye Chakra — Our ability to focus on and see the big picture.

        Location: Forehead between the eyes (also called the Brow Chakra).
        Emotional issues: Intuition, imagination, wisdom and the ability to think and make decisions.
        More on Third Eye Chakra healing
        7. Crown Chakra — The highest chakra represents our ability to be fully connected spiritually.

        Location: The very top of the head.
        Emotional issues: Inner and outer beauty, our connection to spirituality and pure bliss.

        Reply
  8. BigLar

    I was at Sapphire a couple of weeks ago. I had blue jeans on which became uncomfortable after a while due to 1) lack of room….I’m glad I had a belt on and 2) the jeans are a heavy material and that probably became uncomfortable for the both of us. Will I look like a pervert if I where my office dress pants?

    Reply
  9. Casey

    They’re strippers. They get paid to take their clothes off. Guys don’t go to a strip club to “appreciate the art”, they go there to see some tits.

    Reply
  10. Jim

    I will say this i recently went in with just my nylon sweat short keep in mind down in the south with humidity and heat it help me to be more air dried. And i have experience lap dance with jean and with gym short. I notice that if you wear gym short the ladies are more responsive and skin to skin contact feel more alive and artistic like i was seeing color or that was addiction color what ever it was. It felt like my body was sending electrical signal all over the body and I felt spiritually more alive wearing the gym short because I can tell that the dancer was also comfortable doing it vs jean i notice one dancer completely avoided trying to touch me during a dance which was odd but then that when it hit me….those must hurt like sand paper on their skin.

    But all in all respect the club and respect the dancer also do a thing for them buy them a non alcoholic beverage and chat with them they could use some down time after all one girl have told me that she bruised up her leg trying to do pole dancing.

    Also guys one dancer even told me they prefer if you are clean well groomed and not like 60+ yr old men. In most club you can ask for dance but ultimately it is up to them if they want to dance for you. They are a service not a slave.

    Reply
  11. GGG

    Business Casual

    Although button down front shirts are becoming my least favorite thing to wear. Three times now, I’ve had fishnet stocking snag on a button. This is not a turn on. It stops the dance, and you both have to spend song time on unsnagging the lady. It completely boots me out of the mood.

    Reply
    • Arnold Snyder

      Harley, the major clubs are all handicapped-accessible. Let me double check to confirm on things like elevators to the private rooms–I’ll get back to you on that by tonight.

      Reply
    • Arnold Snyder

      Harley, Palomino has an area of its 1st floor VIP that is handicapped accessible. There are private, curtained booths downstairs as well. If you can’t handle stairs, you can still get private shows downstairs. But the private theme rooms on the 2nd floor are only accessible by stairs.

      Sapphire’s VIP, including their private booths, are on the first floor and handicapped accessible. Sapphire’s private rooms, called Skyboxes, are accessible by elevator. If you can afford an hour in a Skybox with a Sapphire dancer ($800, but includes $400 in champagne or other booze), it would be a really nice birthday present to yourself.

      Sophia’s has nice private rooms but they’re expensive (like Sapphire+) and the dancer selection isn’t terrific. Hustler has handicapped accessible private rooms but they’re a little odd and, again, the dancer selection is better at Sapphire.

      Reply

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